69 Mainstreet

UStream

2009-04-19T02:53:00.001-07:00

If you have not had the chance to check these live streams out, take a look. Some of these are great.

http://www.ustream.tv/

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Mocktails - The best alcohol-free cocktails- Pocket Cocktails: for iPhone/iPod Touch Click > www.pocketcocktails.com

2009-04-19T02:35:00.001-07:00

Now this is a must have for your iphone

http://www.pocketcocktails.com/

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“Why Don’t You Ever Just Want To Cuddle?!”

2009-04-05T15:15:00.001-07:00

from College Candy » Sex Toys for Everyone! by Vivian - Undecided

So we’ve debated whether or not we would date someone who weighed less than us (twice), but what about dating a guy with a lower sex drive?

The stereotype is that it’s always the guy who initiates sex and the girl who turns him down. Well, contrary to popular belief, not every college guy is looking for some sexy time. [Yes, these mythical beings do exist and, as luck would have it, I got stuck with one.] Seriously, my boyfriend has the nerve to call me a “hornball” for all my honest efforts to get him laid.

Case and point: Everyone knows that home movie nights are the best times to get a little groping action going on, but my attempts at playful fondling always end with a humiliating, “Why don’t you ever just want to cuddle and watch the movie?”

I do want to watch the movie, you idiot. It’s called multi-tasking.

I just don’t get it, it’s not like he’s gay. He’s not a prude either. We’ve done it in a public park, for goodness sakes (a story for another time). And he definitely isn’t saving himself - a little too late for that one, bucko. So I’m forced to chalk it up to a lower sex drive, which seriously sucks for me and my libido.

Plus, do you know how seriously damaging it is to your ego when you’re scantily clad in lingerie and your man turns you down? Talk about humiliating. I love him but, dammit, a girl’s got needs.

What about you? Would you date a guy with a lower sex drive? Is love (not the physical kind) enough to satisfy you?

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And You Thought Sex On a Bed Was Good…

2009-03-29T13:27:00.001-07:00

from College Candy » Sex Toys for Everyone! by Mandy - Hofstra

Don’t ask how (no, I wasn’t Googling “chair sex,” or “furniture to do it on”), but I came across this site recently and was instantly intrigued.

The Tantra Chair is used to practice the amazingness of Kama Sutra. It’s shaped like a funky wave to help position yourself properly for ultimate pleasure. Don’t know anything about Kama Sutra? Well, you’re missing out. Lucky for you, the site also has a guide to tons of fun positions to enjoy on this lovely piece of furniture. (Warning: there is some nudity…and it’s kind of graphic.)

If I had the place and the money, and - oh yeah, the boyfriend - I would definitely invest in this contraption. Kama Sutra is already saucy enough, but throwing in a new toy (or chair) to aid the process just takes it to a whole new level! And it looks like a couch so you can definitely pass it off to your parents as some piece of artsy fartsy furniture you found on Craigslist.

Doing the nasty on a flat surfaced bed is so last year. This gift from the sex gods will have you in positions you never thought possible on a futon.

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The 10 Most Perverted Old School Video Games

2009-03-29T13:24:00.001-07:00

Check it out they are pretty funny

cracked.com/article_17206_10-most-perverted-old-school-video-games.html [cracked.com]

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Queer Women to Watch: Spring 2009

2009-03-29T13:11:00.001-07:00

Jillian Maddison, pop culture blogger

Rachael Cantu, singer/songwriter

Amber Tozer, comedian

Elisha Lim, comic artist

ttp://www.afterellen.com/people/2009/3/queerwomentowatch?page=0%2C1

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Google Top 20 Hot Trends 03/28/2009

2009-03-29T11:34:00.001-07:00

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If browsers were women

2009-03-10T00:27:00.001-07:00

from The Best Article Every day by bspcn

www.ImageShack.us" width="569" />

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Lesbian Iron Chef Cat Cora Announces First Pregnancy

2009-03-10T00:15:00.001-07:00

The first and only female Iron Chef on Food Network’s hit show,
Iron Chef America, Chef Cat Cora (www.catcoracooks.com) today announced she is 4-1/2 months pregnant with a boy.

For the 41 year old Cora, this is her first pregnancy and the fourth child for the Cora family.

Cat and her partner, Jennifer, have two sons plus Jennifer will deliver their third child, also a boy, in April.

“Jennifer and I are thrilled to go through the wonderful experience of pregnancy together. We started the in-vitro process 5 years ago,” said Cat who is due in July. “This has been a miracle for us and we’ll now have 4 beautiful children.”

Together for nearly ten years, the Cora’s share a unique family story in which both women have carried the other’s biological child.

Cat’s pregnancy is a result of in-vitro fertilization with Jennifer’s embryo. The couple’s sons, ages 5 years and 23 months, were both carried by Jennifer. She was artificially inseminated for her first pregnancy, but the second she carried to term using Cat’s embryo. In Jennifer’s current pregnancy, both women’s embryos were implanted, so the biological mother is unknown. They do not to plan to conduct DNA testing to determine the baby’s biological mother.

: Image via Wikipedia

Each of the couple’s children was conceived through insemination or in-vitro with the same anonymous sperm donor, making the children biological brothers.

Cat, who was raised in a food-loving Greek family in Mississippi, recently launched CCQ (Cat Cora’s Que) at Macy’s new Signature Kitchen restaurant in South Coast Plaza.

Cat grew up with her own unique barbeque traditions and continued to explore and expand on them as a chef. CCQ is designed as a fast casual concept and the food defines Cat’s passion for global BBQ, offering various sauces and flavors.

In 2006, Bon Appetit magazine bestowed her with its Teacher of the Year Award and named her Executive Chef.

Cat is also a two-time author and philanthropist, founding and presiding over her charity, Chefs for Humanity (www.chefsforhumanity.org). Her latest book, Cooking From the Hip: Fast, Easy, Phenomenal applies her “go with what you’ve got” philosophy to create simple, sensational meals.

http://news.prnewswire.com/ViewContent.aspx?ACCT=109&STORY=/www/story/03-09-2009/0004985127&EDATE=

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Exposing the Gay Agenda?

2009-03-09T23:57:00.001-07:00

by Scott Stiffler
EDGE Contributor
Monday Mar 9, 2009

Do you believe that churches and religious organizations should be forced to hire homosexuals? Do you agree that Christians should be arrested for speaking against homosexuality in public places? Should children in public schools be taught homosexuality is normal, acceptable, and equal to the traditional marriage of a man and a woman?

No, it’s not some spooky-assed Christian variation of a Jeff Foxworthy "You Might be a Redneck If. . ." comedic routine. In fact, it might be amusing if it weren’t taken from the pages of an actual website.

The website? SilencingChristians.com.

The people behind the website? The American Family Association, self-anointed watchmen of all things liberal and gay.

The origin of these cleverly phrased but ultimately deceptive questions? A survey designed to fire up the AFA’s target audience - who, one presumes, has just watched Speechless: Silencing the Christians. The hour-long documentary style film purports to reveal how the mainstream media and Hollywood are conspiring with those dreaded LGBTs to bitchslap all things Christian. The homosexual agenda, they warn, seeks nothing less than to criminalize free speech as practiced by traditional family-oriented Christians.

Follow the Money
By the film’s end (depending upon your disposition), you’ll either be a fired up Christian soldier ready to man the front lines of the culture war by making a tidy donation to the AFA. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, you’ll have renewed dedication to living life as a man who likes to get it on with other men (a mortal sin which, try as they may, retains its patina of naughtiness and fun no matter how much it’s portrayed as a shortcut to the flaming lakes of Hades!). Either way, it’s worth watching - if only to be aware of the arguments and techniques being used as fundraising-oriented weapons against the LGBT community.

But what’s so bad about a little film that plays "hide the facts" while casting the first stones of sin upon homosexuals? EDGE asked a panel of more moderate academics and religious types.

The answer: "Plenty."

But first, a disclaimer: Many, many, many attempts were made to secure the participation of both the American Family Association as well as the film’s host, Janet Parshall, (her website).Although Edge was able to speak rather cordially with the AFA’s Cindy Roberts (Director of Media & Public Relations), she was ultimately unable to get anyone to speak with us. Repeated calls to Parshall’s booking agent/lawyer/husband went repeatedly unreturned.

The AFA uses homosexuality as a reliable, effective fishing lure for donations, notes Rev. Jim Merritt, Marriage Equality Coordinator for the Global Justice Team of the Metropolitan Community Churches. Invoking the word regardless of context is, says Merritt, "a huge fundraising mechanism; one of the issues that stir up their constituency." After valiantly viewing all sixty minutes of "Speechless: Silencing the Christians," Merritt noticed there was "a place to register. It’s the first thing at bottom, a Donate button. Even at the end of the movie, there’s a clear message about how imperative it is to donate money."

For those who’ve been keeping tabs on the AFA, finger pointing and fundraising are familiar techniques. Rev. Elder Nancy Wilson, Moderator and Presiding Bishop of Metropolitan Community Churches, points out that the AFA "has been a longtime purveyor of both misinformation as psychology and theology as it pertains to LGBTs." The cumulative effect of their efforts (at least on their constituency) has "greatly contributed to homophobia and the body of misinformation which continues to get circulated about same sex marriage and reparative therapy. They are using bogus science to prop up their point of view."

But why is hating on the gays so good for business?

"There is this odd projection that goes on among groups like this." observes Wilson. "It’s the way they raise money. People project a lot of their anxiety about sexuality onto gays and lesbians." Staring at a projection of your own anxieties, she says, distracts one from the unpleasant business of facing one’s own transgressions and shortcomings. Want to be a champion of the family unit? "Look at the heterosexual divorce rate." recommends Wilson. But where’s the fun in that?

The Big Lie
Kenneth Sherill, a professor of political science at Hunter College, is another brave veteran viewer of "Speechless." His assessment? "It’s the kind of thing that would have made Joseph Goebbels proud." Producer Dan Scalf and editor Scott Zachry have manipulated facts and footage to promote the AFA’s intellectual agenda - not at all unlike how Goebbels and the Nazi party used film as a stealthy tool of propaganda.

The film, says Sherrill, "uses distortion and truth fragments -- where they tell you part of something or re-route the material that would enable you not to be scared." Merritt cites the film’s best example of this technique in its use of the Philadelphia 11.

Not too proud to name themselves in a manner that references those 60s liberals, "The Chicago Seven," members of the "Philadelphia 11" were arrested on October 10, 2004 when they were arrested and jailed overnight for ignoring orders to move as they conducted a highly vocal protest during the city’s OutFest event.

Although the AFA’s online survey coyly asks us if we "agree that Christians should be arrested for speaking against homosexuality in public places?," it fails to mention the specifics of this incident - or the fact that charges were ultimately dropped against the protesters. For a full account of the "facts" from a conservative Christian website as well as the HRC, PhillyVictory.php and hrc.org/issues/4856.htm.

As for the incident’s use in the film as an example of Christians being muzzled by the powerful homosexual lobby, Merritt notes that the protesters were hardly the shrinking violets they portray themselves as - there only to bring scripture and witnessing to the gays.

Merritt: "The film shows you the Philadelphia 11, then the survey asks do you believe Christians should be arrested for speaking against homosexuality. In fact, they were arrested for trying to incite a riot. I’ve been to Pride events all over the country where they scream and yell and get in people’s face and it ends up with people being angry and aggressive on both sides. I am a Christian, and I don’t want to be arrested for speaking the truth; but I also want to be smart about it and do it in ways that are not going to incite violence on either side."

The film certainly scores sympathy points when it trots out two elderly women who were part of the Philadelphia 11. One notes "We hadn’t done anything wrong. I was handcuffed and accompanied the other people into the paddy wagon." The other sadly confronts the fact that she’s just been charged with "Three felonies? I just couldn’t imagine; just for trying to share the gospels."

From the dramatic testimony of sympathetic souls, to the music and editing, Sherill observes the skilled way the AFA has contextualized the debate "in the guise of a documentary or news show. That gives it this aura of authoritativeness and professionalism when it’s basically an infomercial." The key to propaganda, he notes, "is to repeat a message so that it not only becomes believable. Because you’ve heard it so many times, you shut out any competing messages. If you say something often enough, people will believe it’s true no matter how fantastical it is. It’s presenting hysteria in this guise of mild mannered, cool professionalism and it’s made for the gullible."

The Gay Agenda
Want to play a drinking game that will have you loopy within the film’s first five minutes? Then by all means, down a shot every time you hear the phrase "homosexual agenda" or a reference to what the AFA credits as that dark movement’s ultimate handbook.

"After the Ball," published by Doubleday in 1989, was authored by Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen. According to the film, these "two homosexual activists" used the book to lay out "powerful and sophisticated propaganda techniques to manipulate people into accepting the homosexual lifestyle." As the film would have us believe, the book is used to this day as a blueprint for adopting sly public relations and advertising techniques in the service of advancing the homosexual lifestyle. "Speechless" narrator Janet Parshall often makes this accusation while failing to acknowledge the irony that the very film she’s in is following the book’s strategies - without the ugly consequence of being seen as advancing the "Christian agenda."

As for co-author Madsen, he blogged on the topic: "the religious right have been treating us like the Elders of Zion ever since the book first came out, which is preposterous. While the book was widely read I see no evidence that the book itself serves as any kind of reference for the movement today. Our work seems to have had little actual influence. To keep insisting that it did is yet another sign, as if we needed any more, that agitators on the right, while professing their commitment to truth, lack fundamental intellectual integrity. "

Impact and Action

If the fact that this film is out there in the Internet ether working its propaganda magic upon deep pocketed conservative Christians has you all in a tizzy, then the words of a Christian film reviewer might calm you down; at least enough to get your shopping done.

Greg Wright, Managing Editor of hollywoodjesus.com, says the film is something he’s heard the odd reference to, "but it’s not something people are paying a lot of attention to in the broader Christian community. My dad’s really on top of what happens with the AFA and when anything gains traction there, he’s at the forefront of forwarding contacts and info to me, and on this one he hasn’t. My guess is it’s not gaining the kind of attention that other AFA major issues have." Wright, who describes himself as circulating "more on the periphery of the Christian Community" says he’s "Not tied into that stuff. But when something gets a big buzz, it circulates out of the periphery and we get wind of it." Thankfully, news of "Speechless" has yet to drift into his general field of awareness.

An interesting footnote to the broadcast of the hour-long special on stations throughout the country beginning last month came when a Michigan station, WOOD-TV of Grand Rapids, Michigan, decided not to broadcast it after protests from the HRC. But, true to form, the American Family Association of Michigan, immediately claimed the canceling was part of that omnipotent gay media conspiracy when it was revealed that Trevor Thomas, the deputy communications director for the HRC in Washington, D.C., once worked in WOOD-TV’s newsroom. "Gary Glenn, president of AFA-Michigan, said in a statement to WOOD-TV General Manager Diane Kniowski that he originally suspected the cancellation was merely a matter of political correctness, but now wonders how deeply the connection runs between Thomas and the station," reads a press release from the AFA of Michigan.

"That new information," Glenn continued, "leads us to question whether the real story is that WOOD-TV management was unduly influenced by or even acted in collusion with a former high-level staffer who you allowed to openly campaign for homosexual activists’ political agenda while with the station and who now promotes that agenda full-time nationwide."

As for what "mainstream" Christians and gays can do, Merritt recommends we all "follow their example, regarding the film’s wedge issues such as same sex marriage, public education, protest and reparative therapy. "Stand up and speak up. Call our members of congress and senators and get involved. I’m going to send a link to my friends, because I think it’s important for us to realize that the radical Christian agenda is so anti homosexual. We have to be as involved in political processes as they are, and their suggestions are good for us, too."

Scott Stiffler is a New York City based writer and comedian who has performed stand-up, improv, and sketch comedy. His solo shows include Damaged by the 70s and An Evening With Insane Mark Twain & Dead Bette Davis. He must eat twice his weight in fish every day, or he becomes radioactive.

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80% of Sexually Active Americans Put Off Sex Because They're Too Sick or Tired

2009-02-10T22:54:00.001-08:00

By Consumer Reports

Feb 9, 2009 - 1:37:04 PMexually Active Americans Put Off Sex Because They're Too Sick or Tired

(HealthNewsDigest.com) - YONKERS, NY —More than eight out of ten sexually active adults have put off having sex in the past year. Their reasons? Eighty percent say they’re too sick or too tired for sex. And forty percent say they’re just plain “not in the mood.” Other top reasons include taking care of children and pets (30%) and working (29%). Those are some of the findings of a new Consumer Reports Health poll at www.ConsumerReportsHealth.org.

Of Americans who are sexually active, 78% say the economic crisis hasn’t had an affect on the amount of time they spend in the bedroom.

The nationally representative poll, which included 1,000 U.S. residents, was conducted by the Consumer Reports National Research Center. Here are some of the key findings, plus tips for sleepy Americans.

· Of those who said they were sexually active, turns out a little planning goes a long way. Forty-five percent told Consumer Reports they’ve planned a time to have sex with their partner. And seven percent of this group used an electronic calendar, PDA, or smart phone to do so.

· Twenty percent of this group also said they missed work to keep an appointment for sex. Thirteen percent said they missed out on time with the kids and nine percent cancelled a doctor’s appointment.

· Asked about Valentines Day, 47% of Americans said President Obama should stay focused on national priorities, such as the economic crisis gripping the nation, while 45% said he should reserve time to be with the First Lady.

· Nearly half of U.S. adults will spend less money this Valentine’s Day but 80% say the economic crisis has caused no change in how often they have sex.

· And there continues to be an apparent disconnect between men and women when it comes to sex. Nearly 60 percent of the sexually active men polled by Consumer Reports said they think about sex at least once a day, compared with only 19 percent of sexually active women.

· Overall, a similar percentage of men and women seem to be satisfied with their sex lives. Specifically, sixty-six percent of men and 58% of women told Consumer Reports they were satisfied with their sex lives.

Tips for Sleepy Americans

The Consumer Reports Health poll found that 53% of sexually active Americans are putting off sex because they’re too tired or need more sleep. Too little sleep is more than a nuisance; it’s a health threat. Not getting enough sleep can increase the risk of illness, weight gain, auto accidents, and even death. Even a half-hour of lost sleep is enough to blunt an individual’s problem-solving and verbal skills, reaction time, and stamina. Here are some tips for better sleep:

Use your bed only for sleeping or sex.

Keep the bedroom cool, dark, and quiet. And don’t watch TV from bed. If you have to, remove the tube from the bedroom.

Don’t nap. Instead, try climbing into bed a half hour earlier. It’s better to get all your sleep at once.

Exercise. It’s conducive to getting a good night’s sleep. But try to avoid working out before bedtime.

Set your body clock. Try to get to bed and wake up at about the same time every day. Get exposure to natural outdoor light during the day.

Avoid late meals. They can make you uncomfortable when you lie down and possibly encourage acid reflux.

Use “white noise.” The sound of a white noise generator, fan or other appliance can drown out disturbances.

Can Sex-Enhancing Drugs Help?

For couples who want to put the spark back in their sex lives, Consumer Reports suggests several tips online at www.ConsumerReportsHealth.org. Consumer Reports also weighs in on the use of sex-enhancing drugs such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. “These drugs can be helpful to some but we urge consumers to be skeptical of a growing belief that all sexual problems can be cured by popping a pill,” says Dr. Orly Avitzur, medical adviser at Consumer Reports. According to Dr. Avitzur, doctors are now prescribing these drugs in response to huge advertising budgets. In 2007, the makers of the three drugs listed above spent $300 million on advertising to consumers.

Should women use Viagra? Consumer Reports recommends trying other measures first for several reasons, noted online in a report about Viagra for women.

Visit www.ConsumerReportsHealth.org for more information about the sex poll, the Consumer Reports sex education quiz, or to read “Healthy Sex: His and Hers.”

www.HealthNewsDigest.com

© Copyright by HealthNewsDigest.com

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Sex is good for you: For fighting cancer to the common cold it's just what the doctor ordered (and men benefit most!)

2009-02-10T22:52:00.001-08:00

By Anna Magee
Last updated at 1:17 AM on 11th February 2009

Making love could be one of the few pleasures in life that is genuinely good for you, say researchers.

Not only does a healthy sex life boost mood, but there is growing evidence to show it boosts your physical well-being, too - from increasing longevity to reducing the risk of erectile dysfunction and even heart attack.

Only last month, researchers at Nottingham University concluded that men who kept up a regular sex life in their 50s were also at lower risk of developing prostate cancer.

(Conversely, they found 'too much' sexual activity - more than 20 times a month - in the 20s and 30s could increase the risk.)

In fact, the research seems to suggest that men - particularly older men - benefit the most from healthy effects of sex. Feel-good hormones help explain some of the benefits, such as mood-boosting, but the explanation is not always obvious.

But one thing is clear, and this applies to both men and women: you need to be having sex regularly if you don't want to lose the ability.

'Use it or lose it' was the advice given to older men by Finnish scientists recently.

They had followed 1,000 men aged between 55 and 75 for five years and found that those who had sex less than once a week at the start of the study were twice as likely to develop erectile dysfunction (see below) as those who had it at least once a week.

Those who had sex three or more times a week lowered their risk fourfold.

As women get older their oestrogen levels drop, says Dr Peter Bowen-Simpkins, consultant gynaecologist at the London Women's Clinic and spokesperson for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists.

This hormone is key to a woman's sexual enjoyment - lower levels can make sex uncomfortable, he explains.

But American research found that menopausal women who had sex every week had oestrogen levels twice as high as their abstaining counterparts.

'Regular sex increases the production of oestrogen,' says Dr Bowen-Simkins. As long as other symptoms, such as dryness, are not a problem or have been treated, having more sex can decrease the risk of vaginal atrophy which can occur with age, he says.

So what else can a regular love life do for your health?

Heart

Sex can be good for your heart. The idea that men are more at risk of a heart attack during love-making is mostly misconception, say experts.

Professor Peter Weisberg, medical director of the British Heart Foundation, says there is no evidence that men who have sex regularly in their 40s, 50s and beyond are at an increased risk of heart attack.

'As far as the heart is concerned, sex is just another form of exercise,' says Dr Graham Jackson, consultant cardiologist at Guy's & St Thomas' Hospital and president of the Sexual Dysfunction Association.

'In fitness terms, it's equivalent is going for a mile-long walk or climbing up and down two flights of stairs.

'If you're physically fit enough for that, there should be no increased risk during sex.'

A study at Queens University in Belfast found that having sex three times a week could actually halve the risk of heart attack or stroke.

However, if you are over 50, overweight and unfit, there is a risk to your heart - just as there would be if you suddenly and vigorously took up any form of exercise.

Loving feeing: A study found those who had sex less than once a month had double the risk of dying prematurely than those who had sex twice a week (picture posed)

Prostate

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in British men, affecting 35,000 a year.

Previous research suggested that greater sexual activity was linked to a higher risk of prostate cancer, but findings from Nottingham University (published in the British Journal Of Urology International) suggest the opposite is true: that increased activity is protective for older men.

This backs up the findings of a major study five years ago by the National Cancer Institute, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Previous studies have suggested the reduced risk is due to the release of toxins from the prostate gland.

'We can't say for certain that having regular sex can protect older men from prostate cancer, because such studies don't prove the mechanism through which risk is reduced,' says Dr Geoffrey Hackett, consultant urologist at Good Hope Hospital, Sutton Coldfield, and former chairman of the British Society for Sexual Medicine.

'But many men who maintain a regular sex life are also likely to maintain a healthy lifestyle in terms of regular exercise and a better diet. That's likely playing a bigger part in their prostate cancer risk reduction.'

Bones

'Testosterone levels have been found to increase during and after sex,' says GP Dr Sarah Brewer. 'This may provide some protection against male osteoporosis.'

Sexual activity can also protect you against other unwanted changes. Some scientists have linked low levels of sexual activity to structural changes in the penis or testicles which appear to reduce them in size.

'We know that men who don't have regular ejaculations or sexual intercourse have lower levels of testosterone,' says Professor Pierre Bouloux, consultant endocrinologist at University College London and the Royal Free Hospital.

And if your testosterone levels fall and you don't get erections, there is some evidence that the penile tissues can lose some of their elasticity, which in turn could make them appear smaller.

Mood-lift: The neurotransmitter serotonin is the body's key anti-depressant and a major reason people smile after sex

Mood

The evidence suggests that the 'feelgood' effect of making love could be more about chemicals than sexual ability.

'During lovemaking and orgasm, a cocktail of endorphins (the body's natural mood-lifting opiates), neurotransmitters and hormones are released,' says Professor Nadir Farid, consultant endocrinologist and founder of the London Endocrine Clinic.

'Oxytocin, in particular, is a hormone released during and after sex that has been shown to make people more generous towards their partners and can also help induce calm and sleep,' he adds.

Oxytocin is called the 'cuddling' hormone because it's released after just 20 minutes of hugging. Women produce four times as much as men, for whom production is inhibited by the prevalence of the hormone testosterone, which drives libido.

Another key neurotransmitter is serotonin, says Professor Farid. 'Serotonin is the body's key antidepressant chemical and one of the major reasons people smile and feel happy and relaxed after sex.'

Sexually active women in longterm relationships were less likely to be depressed than women who went without sex, according to a study of nearly 300 women by American psychologist Gordon Gallup and published in the Archives Of Sexual Behaviour.

Gallup speculated that semen contains several hormones which may have a mood-boosting effect when they are absorbed through the vaginal wall into the bloodstream.

Immunity

Having more sex might increase immunity from colds and flu.

Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of immunoglobulin A, or IgA, a substance found in saliva and the nasal lining thought to help our immune systems fight colds and flu.

In one study, scientists asked 11 volunteers how often they had had sex over the previous month, then measured levels of IgA in their saliva.

Those who had sex once a week or less had a slight increase, compared with those who abstained; but those who made love more often had 30 per cent higher levels.

Professor Ron Eccles, director of the Common Cold Centre and Healthcare Clinical Trials at Cardiff School of Biosciences, is not convinced, though, that sex itself is the key.

It's known that stress and anxiety can also make IgA levels go down, so according to Professor Eccles any connection between sex and colds may be related to other factors.

Cold cure? Having more sex might increase immunity from colds and flu

Longevity

One of the largest studies on longevity and sex - conducted on Welsh men - found that those who had sex less than once a month had double the risk of dying prematurely than those who had sex twice a week.

'Sexual activity seems to have a protective effect on men's health,' says GP Dr Sarah Brewer. 'This may be linked with the effects of the master sex hormone, DHEA or dehydroepiandroterone, which is made in the adrenal glands and functions as a building block of other hormones such as oestrogen, testosterone and progesterone.

'DHEA levels rise just before orgasm and ejaculation to three times higher than normal, and some claim this is how regular sex can prolong your life.'

Fertility

For people trying to conceive, one of the biggest myths associated with fertility is that refraining from ejaculation boosts sperm mobility - the rate at which individual sperm can move forwards to penetrate an egg for fertilisation, says gynaecologist Dr Gillian Lockwood, medical director of Midlands Fertility Services.

'When sperm is hanging around in the epididymis, the long coiled tube in the back of the testes where sperm is stored, it dies off rapidly,' she says.

'Unless a man has a low sperm count, the more often he has sex, then the better the quality of his sperm.'

Preliminary results of a small study two years ago, by Australian researchers, found that in men whose sperm showed significant DNA damage, daily ejaculation reduced this damage by 12 per cent.

'When it comes to sex for fertility, having sex little and often - at least every other night - is far better than lots of it on infrequent occasions.'

And the bad news

Just when you thought you'd had the green light for more passion, the experts strike a cautionary note. Unbridled romping - particularly with a new partner and without protection - comes with bigger risks, especially for the 'Viagra generation'.

Rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in the over 45s have doubled in the ten years since Viagra was launched, and STI rates are now rising faster in older people than they are in the young.

A study last year from University College London found that those in their late 30s and 40s were least likely to use condoms with new partners.

Other research has found that 12 per cent of sexually active over-50s did not use contraception while also not knowing their partner's sexual history.

'This is a generation that didn't have the open sex education that young people get today,' says Professor Janice Rymer, professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at St Thomas' Hospital London.

'Today's 50-somethings probably know less about sexual protection than many of today's teenagers.'

Most STIs are treatable with antibiotics, said Professor Rhymer, but it's important to be aware that some, such as human papilloma virus (HPV), have been strongly linked to cervical, mouth and other cancers.

How to cope when the mechanics let you down

MEN

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION: This affects 14 per cent of men in northern Europe and can be caused by underlying medical conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, smoking, high cholesterol, prostate surgery, or a psychological cause such as depression.

Repeated episodes of erectile dysfunction (ED) are a key indicator of undiagnosed early cardiovascular disease, warns Dr Graham Jackson.

'Two-thirds of men with erectile dysfunction have early onset coronary heart disease, in which no other symptoms - such as chest pain - are present.'

Studies have shown that erectile dysfunction could precede the onset of heart problems by three years. This is why men with ED should seek medical advice. 'The greatest risk to your heart comes with buying erectile-enhancing drugs without prescription on the black market,' said urologist Dr Geoffrey Hackett.

Treatments for erectile dysfunction include Viagra and Cialis, which have to be taken up to an hour before sex. These work by increasing blood flow by widening the blood vessels, but are effective in only 50 per cent of men. Cialis Once-A-Day, which is prescription-only, allows men to have sex whenever they want, and so restores the spontaneity lost with other treatments.

PREMATURE EJACULATION: Up to 30 per cent of Western men experience some form of this.

Treatments include condoms with numbing agents, anaesthetic sprays for the penis, antidepressant drugs to lower the anxiety that might cause the condition and pelvic floor exercise therapy.

WOMEN

FEMALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION: Up to 43 per cent of women are said to suffer from FSD, including low sex drive and inability to orgasm.

But medical experts question this figure, and the British Medical Journal has accused drug companies of medicalising the natural loss of libido that may come with age or relationship problems.

There are no drug treatments for FSD, though 25 are in development.

MENOPAUSE: The menopause causes a woman's ovaries to slow down and stop producing hormones, including testosterone, for sex drive, and oestrogen, which can reduce lubrication, making sex painful. 'KY Jelly can be effective,' says gynaecologist Dr Peter Bowen-Simpkins.

'Or we can prescribe estradiol, a weak oestrogen applied locally through pessaries or creams to help replace moisture and acidity'.

PAIN OR BLEEDING: 'Pain can be a sign of cysts, fibroids and, in very rare cases, ovarian cancer,' says Dr Gillian Lockwood, consultant gynaecologist. Bleeding is usually caused by benign cervical erosion and is easily treatable. Rarely, bleeding during sex can be a sign of cervical cancer. If it happens more than three times, see your GP.'

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Breaking Up With My Blow-Up Doll

2009-02-10T22:24:00.001-08:00

Ask Umbra's musical advice for sweeping toxics from your sex life

10 Feb 2009

Before you get down and dirty, there's something you oughta know: Sex toys can contain nasty toxic surprises. In today's Umbra video, two lovebirds sing the praises of alternative playthings, just in time for Valentine's Day.

"Ask Umbra" is the first video series produced by GristTV. Look for new video tips for greening your life from Umbra (nearly) every week.

Watch it on the go! Subscribe to GristTV video podcasts via iTunes.

Check out Babeland's assortment of eco-friendly sex toys!

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Pillow Talk with Diana: 10 Tips for Dorm Shower Sex

2009-02-10T17:41:00.001-08:00

7 hours, 52 minutes ago By Diana - NYU

Q: I was wondering if you could go into the mechanics of shower sex in a college dorm… I’m sure it happens, but I was wondering, are there any disciplinary or even legal risks involved of bringing the opposite sex into your bathroom? Tips are also nice too!

A: I have to say, I don’t think shower sex is really all that great–dorm shower sex, even less so. But to each her own–here are the ten things you should know before sudsing up and getting down in the dorm showers:

1. It may be against the rules. Some schools keep women’s and men’s bathrooms separate, in which case, I assume sex in the showers wouldn’t be encouraged either. But hey, might be a great time to work out those bi-curious tendencies. Check your school’s rules–as far as I can tell, dorm shower sex isn’t illegal as a rule, so it’ll depend on your school’s policies–and then figure out how to break them!

2. Remember protection–condoms and flip-flops. You don’t want to catch an STD or a nasty fungus, so keep extremities covered.

3. Remove your eye makeup. I’m not kidding. If you take nothing else away from this, please remember to wipe off you eyeliner before you hook up in the shower. Yes, even the waterproof kind. Not. Pretty.

4. Do it on off-peak hours. Figure out when your dorm shower sees the least traffic and sneak in then. You’re less likely to get caught, and you’re less likely to gross everyone else out with your cries of passion.

5. Don’t do it on the weekend. This might sound counter-intuitive, but unless you want company in the form of other fun-loving couples or that guy on your floor who gets drunk and pukes all over the bathroom every single Saturday, pick a quiet Monday night over a Saturday.

6. Keep it simple. Now is not the time to try out that sex position you read about in Cosmo. Stick to whatever works based on how much space you have and water flow.

7. Lube up. Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to…lube up with? Yep–the water will actually dry you out, so this is the time to break out the K-Y.

8. For the love of god, keep the soap out of it. If you’re going to be having sex in the shower, don’t lather up your naughty bits first unless you like a little pain–there are some crevices where your fancy body wash doesn’t need to go.

9. Keep towels within arm’s reach. If someone does walk in on you, make sure you have two towels at grabbable distance to cover up with. Your RA does not want to see your bare ass. Unless you’re sexing your RA.

10. Do it for the thrill of it. Don’t expect multiple orgasms when trying out shower sex–you should consider the experiment a success if you make it out of there without foot fungus, a concussion, or having 30 of your floormates see your girls. Shower sex is a novelty, so enjoy it for what it is and don’t put pressure on yourself to have the best sex of your life in there.

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Better with age?

2009-02-10T17:07:00.001-08:00

KATHI WOLFE
Friday, January 09, 2009

Gay-penned book explores wisdom that comes with advancing years

Gay author Henry Alford’s new book ‘How to Live: a Search for Wisdom from Old People,’ released Jan. 2, explores the wisdom the author says comes with age. (Photo by John Woo; courtesy of Twelve Books) Gay-penned book explores wisdom that comes with advancing years

Few things are more feared in this culture than growing old. Particularly in the youth-obsessed queer community, where 40 is the new 90.

Yet elders are leading vital, interesting lives. “How to Live: a Search for Wisdom from Old People (While They Are Still on This Earth)” by gay writer Henry Alford, is an illuminating, poignant and amusing collection of interviews with a wide range of older people from playwright Edward Albee to comedian Phyllis Diller to Althea Washington, a Katrina survivor.

Alford, 46, has written for Vanity Fair and other publications. He’s the author of the humor collection “Municipal Bondage” and received a Thurber Prize for “Big Kiss: One Actor’s Desperate Attempt to Claw His Way to the Top.” “The Knowledge,” Alford’s spoof of the idolization of poet W. H. Auden, appears in the new anthology “Disquiet, Please: More Humor Writing from the New Yorker.”

“We humans are one of the few species with an average life span that extends beyond the age at which we can procreate,” Alford writes in “How To Live.” “... Maybe it’s because old folks have something else to offer.”

That something else, Alford believes, is wisdom.

Alford doesn’t think older people have found the answers to the big questions of life (Why do we die? How should all of us live? Why do bad things happen to good people?). He knows that there’s no (definitive or prescriptive) answer to these complex conundrums. “And I set my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly,” Alford quotes from the biblical book of Ecclesiastes. “I perceived that this also is grasping for the wind.”

Elders are wise, Alford writes, because “the older we get, the more life experiences we are likely to have — and the more experiences we have, the greater the body of information we have to work from.”

There are some wise 30-somethings, Alford observes, but an 80-year-old is more apt to know “something important about life.”

“How To Live” is a mix of musings and quotations on wisdom as well as mini and more lengthy profiles of both famous and unknown older people.

The most touching parts of “How To Live” are Alford’s conversations with his mother and his stepfather, Will. The couple, who’ve been together more than 30 years, got divorced while Alford was writing the book. His parents “had taken different approaches to aging,” Alford writes. “Mom was … more eager than ever to create a whirlwind of travel, while Will had grown increasingly … sedentary … As my brother once put it ‘Will sleeps 14 hours a day. He’s like a male lion.’”

You’d have to have a heart of stone to be unmoved by Alford’s profile of Althea, a 75-year-old black woman whose husband and home were lost to Katrina.

Alford’s interviews with author and guru Ram Dass, 75, and Albee, 79, are especially revealing. Dass, normally reticent about his sexual orientation, speaks about being gay. When Alford tells him he lives in the West Village, Dass with a “slightly sheepish smile” says, “I used to cruise that area.”

Albee talks movingly about his grief after the death of his long-term partner. “I never thought about being old until my lover Jonathon died,” Albee told Alford. “He and I were together for 35 years … All of a sudden I found myself bereft.”

Other pieces in “How To Live” bring to life a potpourri of elders from vivacious (if self-obsessed) actress Sylvia Miles to Granny D, who at 89 walked across the country to advocate for campaign finance reform.

Some of the interviews (such as the piece on Diller) seem incomplete. Reading them is like being offered an appetizer when you’re hungry for a meal. While the quotes on wisdom were interesting, they didn’t seem well-integrated with the interviews.

But these are minor caveats.

“How To Live” is a must read for anyone interested in living wisely.

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CollegeCandy TV: Let’s Talk About Farts

2009-02-01T07:17:00.001-08:00

January 16, 2009 - 3:30 pm, By Lauren, University of Michigan

We warned you, and now it’s here: the first episode of CollegeCandy TV. We wanted to come out with a bang (pun intended), so we got down and dirty. So, listen up; it’s time to talk about farts.

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15 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman

2009-02-01T07:12:00.001-08:00

Jan 23rd 2009
By Emily McCombs

"Can I kiss you?" These words may sound sweet, but most women say the phrase is actually a bad idea. It's no secret that men and women communicate differently. What that means for men is that every once in awhile we accidentally wander into a conversational minefield and find ourselves blown to bits before we even realize what we said wrong.

To help you (and us) out, we asked real live women to put together a cheat sheet of verboten phrases and explanations so that you never again end up on the couch over a phrase as seemingly innocuous as "You look fine." (Hint: She wants to look better than "fine.")

15. What did you do to your hair? If you're asking because you don't like it, it's too late. And if you're asking because you really can't tell, pay more attention!

14. Why aren't you married? There is no right answer to this question. Either nobody's asked us, or we just don't want to be. Either way, is it any of your business?

13. You're being irrational. To a woman, words like "irrational" and "emotional" are loaded with double meanings. You're better off choosing an adjective not loaded with sexist tripwires.

12. Your best friend is really hot. We know she's hot, but telling us you think so is the quickest way to never see her again.

11. Can I kiss you? Don't suck all the spontaneity out of the moment by asking, just go for it! If we're not into it, we'll let you know.

10. You aren't one of those feminists, are you? You aren't one of those guys who enjoys sleeping on the couch, are you?

9. You're cute when you're mad. You are not cute when you are being patronizing!

8. That's not the way my ex did it. You're better off just avoiding the topic of ex-girlfriends in general, unless accompanied by phrases like "vastly inferior to my current girlfriend."

7. So how old are you? Old enough to know not to ask rude questions.

6. You sound just like your mother. Are you insulting us, or our mothers? Both? Oh, it's on.

5. Smile. There is nothing more infuriating than being told to "Smile" when you don't feel like it.. Aren't we allowed to have a bad day?

4. You sure you wanna eat that? If she wasn't sure, she wouldn't have ordered it. And are you sure you want to question her diet, Mr. Nacho, Wings and Beer Belly?

3. The "B" word, ever. Calling a woman a "bitch" (or worse) in any context is just not OK. We will flip out.

2. When are you due? Unless her belly is indisputably housing a baby, never assume a woman is pregnant. We will, however, accept offers of seats even if we're just bloated.

1. Is it that time of the month? Blaming a woman's anger on her period is the quickest way to ensure her rage will now be focused on you. It doesn't matter if she blows up at you like clockwork every 28 days -- just don't say it.

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15 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman

2009-02-01T07:03:00.001-08:00

Jan 23rd 2009
By Emily McCombs

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Gay Ad Network Sets New Traffic Records

2009-02-01T06:55:00.001-08:00

January 26, 2009

Gay Ad Network, the category leading gay media network, today announced that its group of gay and lesbian web sites set new traffic records in December. comScore Media Metrix reports that in December, Gay Ad Network's US reach surpassed 1.18 million unique users, which is greater than the unduplicated reach of PlanetOut, Gay.com, Logo Online and Regent Media sites combined. Moreover, Quantcast tracked 4.2 million unique monthly users worldwide on Gay Ad Network sites during this period.

Traffic trend analysis shows that the gay and lesbian online audience is shifting away from gay portals to niche LGBT sites and mainstream social networking services. The current audience metrics and redistribution are helping Gay Ad Network expand its category leadership.

"Marketers are discovering that LGBT consumers are resilient and focused online -- one of the bright spots in a weak economy," said Bob Witeck, CEO of Witeck-Combs Communications, a leading LGBT marketing company. "In research we conducted last year, we saw that gay men in particular are less likely than others to cut back on their discretionary spending. And while not more affluent than others, gay households often are healthy indicators of smart shopping and spending."

Gay Ad Network's recession-resistant audience boasts a high disposable income and tremendous purchasing power. Compared to all other sites in the Gay and Lesbian community category in December 2008, comScore reports that Gay Ad Network reached more people with household income over $100,000 and more households without children.

New advertisers include Johnson & Johnson, Merck, Showtime, Florida Keys, Air New Zealand and MGM Mirage.

Gay Ad Network is one of the first of the now 150+ networks created on Adify. Adify is the pioneer and leading provider of technology to power vertical networks, outsourced services to manage them, and expertise to guide customers to success.

About Gay Ad Network

Gay Ad Network (http://www.gayadnetwork.com) is the category leading gay media network, reaching over 4 million unique users per month. Gay Ad Network is a division of Family Powered Networks LLC, a privately held company that provides advertising and marketing services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender publishers and companies targeting the LGBT market.

About Adify

Adify Corporation (www.adify.com) is the premier vertical ad network management company and an independent, wholly owned subsidiary of Cox TMI Inc., part of Atlanta-based Cox Enterprises, one of the nation's leading media companies and providers of automotive services.

http://gay_blog.blogspot.com

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It's not just about whips and leather

2009-01-16T21:40:00.001-08:00

International Fetish Day is something we can all celebrate – almost everyone has a fetish, after all

Some politicians can be so clueless that they attract sympathy rather than contempt. This was the case when Labour MP Ronnie Campbell cheerfully gave his backing to National Fetish Day last year.

When a journalist asked Campbell if he had any fetishes himself, he replied "I must have a thousand but, hand on heart, I couldn't tell which is the most important one; probably the horses."

When the surprised reporter clarified the definition of fetish, Campbell cried "Oh my God almighty! My God! Is that what a fetish is?" He said he thought it meant "Worry – like worrying about backing the wrong horse."

So the MP for Blyth Valley doesn't have a sexual interest in horses, just a poor grasp of English – and, apparently, a fear of fetishes (now he knows what they are). Today, he can make good his error by joining the rest of us to celebrate the first International Fetish Day.

I say "the rest of us" because pretty much all of us have fetishes. Fetishes are not confined to people with large collections of whips and accounts at their local leather emporium.

There are undoubtedly far more people who enjoy the occasional light spank from their partner than people who are so keen that they purchase sets of hand-crafted spanking equipment. But both have fetishes. Really, there are only two groups who can claim not to have fetishes. The first consists of those who are completely asexual. The second is made up of people who live and think as stereotypical Victorians, saying "Well, it's 9:36, my dear: time for our weekly intercourse." Anyone who lives like that is likely to be suppressing all manner of feelings.

In the millennia of human existence, consenting adults in loving relationships have found an infinite number of ways to express their sexuality. Today people use the word "sexuality" to make a distinction between being gay and straight. Sexuality is far wider and broader and deeper than this. As the Christian feminist writer Jo Ind puts it, sexuality is "whatever turns you on".

I am not of course saying that all fetishes or forms of sexual expression are OK (I hope that people posting critical comments will at least read this far). People with certain sexual urges – such as paedophilia – clearly need therapy, and if they act on them, criminal justice. I'll be clear: sexual activity must be consensual, between adults (without animals) and not involve bullying or manipulation. I am talking about adults giving meaningful, informed consent, with respect and compassion for the other person or people involved.

Despite the relative sexual freedom of Britain today, prejudice lives on. Last year saw a flurry of media interest in a Yorkshire couple who were banned from buses for wearing fetish clothing. More alarming are occasional tabloid attempts to make scare stories out of consensual adult fetishes. In November, the Sun simulated horror when "uncovering" the fact that people with an interest in sadomasochism had hired a village hall for what was essentially a day conference with an evening party.

No wonder so many people find it hard to accept their own fetishes. "For years I repressed my sexuality," says Tina, a 32-year-old London woman, who worried that her desire to be sexually submissive undermined her commitment to feminism. She now believes that "it was a feminist act to overcome that repression". She says it is about choice: "When submitting, I temporarily give my personal power over to someone else – who returns it afterwards. In a sane world this would be considered an act of intimacy and sharing, not violation".

Tina is only one example of the diversity of people who are comfortable with their fetishes. I spoke with a Church of England vicar who practises BDSM (bondage, domination and sadomasochism). "God is love and where there is love, there is God" he insists. "God teaches us through metaphor and cosmic role-play".

People with certain fetishes now face the prospect of becoming victims of the government's sustained assault on civil liberties. In a knee-jerk piece of headline-grabbing, ministers have introduced a law on "extreme pornography" which comes into force this month. Rather than targeting the exploitative, abusive and bullying elements of the pornography industry, the law is aimed at sadomasochistic images regardless of the context. So low is the barrier that if taken literally it could lead to a couple who take a photo of their consensual (and legal) sexual activity being arrested for possession of that photo.

Despite all this there is sometimes a surprising degree of acceptance. When I asked people with fetishes of their experience of friends' reactions, there were as many positive as negative. One said that all his colleagues knew he practised sadomasochism. Another said that her friends don't "get it", but they respect her choices and are "thrilled to see me happy and content".

So, if you've never been comfortable with your fetishes, perhaps today is the right day to change. It is a good day to rejoice in your healthy sexuality – as well as being ready to deal with any unhealthy aspects.

As everyone has a fetish, this is a day that we can all celebrate. Of course, you might not be ready to discuss leather at lunch or candle wax around the water cooler. If you want a more subtle way to mark International Fetish Day, you could always buy a dictionary and send it to Ronnie Campbell MP at the House of Commons.

The Guardian is the media partner for The Convention on Modern Liberty, taking place on Saturday February 28 2009, which will debate these and other issues.

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Why We Do It

2009-01-16T21:32:00.001-08:00

Reasons for Sex Are Varied, Including Revenge, Competition and Calorie Burn

By KATHARINE STOEL GAMMON
ABC News Medical Unit

July 31, 2007 —

Have you ever had sex to feel closer to God?

Losing your virginity late appears to be linked to a greater chance of sexual dysfunction.

How about to change the topic of conversation? Or because you wanted to get rid of a headache or break up a rival's relationship?

Perhaps you just wanted to debase yourself.

A new study, published today in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, suggests that the reasons we have sex may be much more varied than previously thought.

"In the scientific literature, they've really only been talking about the most obvious reasons why people have sex -- because they're in love, because it feels good and because they want to have a baby," says study author Cindy Meston, associate professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin.

"But after 17 years of doing research into women's sexuality, it was apparent to me that people are having sex for all sorts of reasons that weren't being discussed in the literature," she said.

The researchers first sampled 203 men and 241 women, ranging in age from 17 to 52. They asked them to list all the reasons why they ever had sex.

Some of what they found surprised the researchers.

They received answers from "The person smelled nice" to "I wanted to burn calories" to "I wanted to get out of doing something."

"Some of the negative motivators -- the ones that had to do with revenge, or manipulation, or competition -- really surprised us," says Meston. "One of the darkest answers was 'to give someone else an STD,' and that really surprised us."

Some of the other answers they found had nothing to do with pleasure, emotional attachment or procreation -- what many would consider the usual reasons for sex.

"There were lots of things about enhancing psychological or physical well-being, like getting rid of a headache, cramps or stress," says Meston.

The researchers then took their compiled list -- 237 motivations for making love in all -- and gave it to undergraduate students at the University of Texas. The students indicated on a questionnaire how frequently each of the reasons led them to have sex in the past.

Doing It, and Doing It Well

Answers for men and women differed somewhat, but the top reason for sex -- "I was attracted to the person" -- was the same for men and women.

"There is a sense of men just wanting to have sex more for physical reasons and women for emotional reasons, but that's just not as great as people thought," says Meston.

"Men kind of get a bad rap in the media about this -- that they're just hormone machines. The fact that those gender differences were not substantial during college, when the hormones are pumping, is interesting."

And women, who are traditionally viewed as the gender more likely to use sex to gain status or resources, were not alone in their endeavors.

"We found that men have sex to gain status too," Meston says. "What they get may be different, but there's no difference in using sex to get ahead."

Meston acknowledges that their study only asked college students to rate their reasons for sex, and that there may be cultural factors at play, but she is planning more research. She says that the study could help people figure out better ways to get the safe-sex message out.

Other sex experts agree that the study's findings are useful.

"We don't often study the phenomenological aspects of sex," says Evelyn Resh, the director of sexual health services at Canyon Ranch in Lenox, Mass.

"We know quite well how many times per week people are having intercourse, but we don't necessarily know what's getting them to that point."

Sex is complex, the experts say, and it takes a varied method to approach it.

"What is most important is that each person delves into his or her own feelings to honestly assess personal motivations for engaging in sexual behaviors with specific people," says Patricia Koch, president of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.

"Until we each gain a personal understanding of our own sexuality, we will not be able to experience the happiness and pleasure we could achieve, or avoid the risks that can be involved with sexual expression, such as hurtful relationships and unhealthy outcomes."

As for study author Meston, she hopes that when people see all the scores of reasons why others are having sex, they may not feel bad about their own tawdry pasts.

"Some people have had sex for a reason they're not proud of, and they carry that around for their whole lives; they have a lot of guilt and remorse about it," she says.

"Maybe they'll look at this list and say, 'Hey, other people had sex for even more stupid reasons. I'm not alone, I'm not the only one."

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Asexuals Push for Greater Recognition

2009-01-16T21:18:00.001-08:00

Those Who Have No Interest in Sex Want More Awareness of Orientation

By DAN CHILDS
ABC News Medical Unit
Jan. 16, 2009

In a society obsessed with sex, David Jay wants no part of it.

Jay, a 26-year-old graduate student at the Presidio School of Management in San Francisco, acknowledges that his lack of interest in sex may seem unusual to many who view intercourse as the epitome of intimacy.

But research suggests that about 1 percent of the population may share Jay's view on sex. And he said that for many of these people, coming to terms with their feelings about sex can be a major challenge.

"When I was younger, the message I would always hear is that you need sex to be happy," he said. "I realized probably around the age of 14 or 15 that all of my friends were actively talking about sex. I just couldn't relate to it; I had no interest at all."

Jay said that it took him about four years of struggling to adjust to the fact that he simply did not view sex in the same way as most other people.

"It was really scary, really frightening," Jay said. "I think that throughout the asexual community, there are a lot of people who really start in that place of being isolated and confused."

Jay says it's his choice not to engage in sex. To be sure, there are millions of other people who have no interest in sex or are unable to perform sexually who are not at all happy to be members of this club. For them, a variety of psychiatric and medical procedures are available.

But asexuals like Jay are perfectly happy to take a pass on sex. Today, Jay is one of the most prominent voices in the asexuality community. In 2001, he started the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) with the aim of providing a community for people who identify themselves as asexual.

And he said that while one of the primary aims of the group is to foster a greater general understanding of asexuality, this does not mean that there should be less talk about sex. In fact, he believes more such talk is needed.

"The problem is not that there is too much discussion about sex; 99 percent of the world really, really likes sex, so it is something that should be talked about openly and honestly," Jay said. "But we need to have more discussion about how people can not have sex and still be happy."

Recently, Jay and others within AVEN began lobbying for greater understanding of asexuality among the psychological community as well. Their message is simple: they want increased recognition of asexuality among psychological professionals -- while ensuring that it is seen as a legitimate sexual orientation rather than diagnosed as a mental illness.

The group's current goal is to foster greater understanding among the architects of the new version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which is scheduled for release in 2012. The DSM, which is published by the American Psychiatric Association, provides diagnostic criteria for mental disorders.

Asexuality researcher Lori Brotto, assistant professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of British Columbia, is one of the medical experts working with AVEN toward this goal. And she said it is little surprise that this confusion exists -- not only in the clinical realm, but among the general public as well.

"Because asexuality is a relatively new phenomenon that has been described -- not that it hasn't existed for many, many centuries -- people don't understand what it is," Brotto said. "Because most people can identify with the feeling of sexual attraction, the notion that someone would not have sexual attraction toward anyone seems bizarre."

The 'Missing' Sexual Orientation

Hints of the existence of asexuality have appeared in the scientific literature since the 1940s. But it was not until more than a half century later that Anthony Bogaert, professor and chair of the department of community health sciences at Brock University in Ontario, Canada, took a closer look at those who professed to have no sexual attraction whatsoever to either men or women.

Bogaert's 2004 study is viewed by some as the first solid toehold for asexuality in the spectrum of sexual orientation -- a group which until recently had been comprised only of three categories: heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality. In it, Bogaert looked at data from a survey of more than 18,000 British residents and examined their answers on a particular question on sexual attraction to others. While five of the possible answers to the question focused on varying levels of attraction to males or females, the sixth answer that respondents could choose read "I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all."

"About 1 percent of individuals reported having no sexual attraction to anyone at all," he said. "This was the missing fourth category of sexual orientation."

What followed this finding was much discussion over whether asexuality should be seen as a distinct sexual orientation or treated as a pathological condition -- a debate that largely persists until today.

Prior to this research, and even until today, asexual tendencies were generally assumed to be a sign of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) -- in other words, a low sex drive. It is a distinction with which the psychological community still wrestles.

"It is very hard to distinguish between asexuality and insufficient capability for desire or arousal or both," said Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle. "Perhaps the difference is how the person -- or their partner -- feels about it. The literature is certainly inadequate for differentiation between the two."

An Intimate Relationship -- Without the Sex

Bogaert said that a lack of widespread understanding about asexuality means that many of these individuals face many challenges -- particularly in a society that seems fixated on sex.

"A big part of our media and culture expects people to have romantic/sexual relationships with others," he said. "The norm is for someone to form romantic sexual relationships with other people."

This norm, Bogaert noted, often poses problems for asexuals, who may be interested in romance and intimacy, but not in sex.

"[Asexuals] may want to pair-bond with another individual, and most likely they will be pair-bonding with someone who's sexual," he said. "So then you often have pressure placed on the asexual person to have sex within the relationship, even if he or she really doesn't want to have sex."

Eli Coleman, professor and director of the program in human sexuality at the University of Minnesota Medical School, said that this clash of expectations could lead to serious relationship stress.

"The biggest challenge would be the pressure to become sexual," Coleman said. "Asexuality has been assumed to be abnormal. Sexual drive is a basic and fundamental appetitive drive and would be the expected norm."

Jay agreed that the subject of relationships is complex when asexuality enters the picture. "I think it's a very tricky issue," said Jay, who has himself never had sex but has been in relationships in which he engaged in a certain degree of sexual activity.

"There are plenty of people in the asexual community who have relationships with sexual people and have those relationships work," he said. "The sense that I have is that if sex is something that one person in the relationship wants, that's one thing. If that is the only way that they can communicate intimacy, then that's another issue."

Another option, of course, is for those who are asexual to form relationships with each other. Jay said that there is an emerging asexual dating scene, and some online dating services geared toward asexuals have appeared.

What is an asexual relationship like? Jay likened it to an intimate partnering of "very, very close best friends."

Pushing for a Change

Advocates say there is much to be gained from a greater awareness within the psychological community of asexuality, particularly when it comes to ensuring that the DSM does not treat asexuality as a disorder that must be treated.

"The fear is that with a new definition, asexuality would somehow make its way into the DSM and be considered a psychological illness," Brotto said.

For something to be considered a psychological illness, Brotto said, "a person needs to be distressed or bothered by the condition. Asexual people are not. Their only distress is distress over the idea that they will not be accepted by society."

"This is certainly not a sexual dysfunction, and it is certainly not a mental disorder."

But not all psychologists agree.

"Given that I believe our sexuality is a great emotional and physical asset, it is hard for me to think asexuality is appropriate to declassify," Schwartz said. "On the other hand, we certainly do not want to oppress someone who is happily asexual and does not have a deprived partner."

Still, Jay said that he believes AVEM is making significant progress with those behind the DSM. And he said that he is hopeful that greater understanding among the public in general will follow.

"The take-home point should really be a question they ask themselves," he said. "That question is: Why does sex matter so much?"

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tags: sex, abc news, 69mainstreet, sex toys,dating, sexual, asexual

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MOM ON HOMOSEXUALITY - MISS LOLA ROSE

2009-01-13T21:43:00.001-08:00

Mom addresses the banning and reinstating of our MOM ON 2 GAY KIDS video by YOUTUBE. We wish to thank Gay Carrington, Italionstallionette, and the many others who took a stand for us and Gay civil rights. By: Jill Abrams

Tags:

gay lesbian PFLAG Jill Abrams homophobic pride Gay Carrington ItallionStallionette queer homosexuality PSA dyke parade

YOUTUBE apology letter can be found at: http://jillabrams.blogspot.com/ Please check out our idol Gay Carrington at: http://www.youtube.com/user/GayCarrin... And the fabulous Gina of ItalionStallionette: http://www.youtube.com/user/ItalianSt... Special thanks to Robtran, Tobie, Jerlins, Ness, Medavog and the many, many others who sent in videos and letters of support. You reinstated our faith in humanity. We love you.

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Miss Lola Rose - Mom on Gay Hollywood

2009-01-13T21:15:00.001-08:00

Mom examines the lesbians, gays and bisexuals of Hollywood. Everyone from Lindsay Lohan to Madonna gets explored. By: JIll Abrams. WATCH IN HIGH QUALITY!

I like really like her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sX5jOYaMwo4

tags: miss lola rose, gay, hollywood, 69mainstreet

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MOM ON HER 2 GAY KIDS

2009-01-13T21:12:00.001-08:00

Mom FINALLY comes out of the closet about having two gay children. It is refreshing to watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1oIDQbW35A

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2008 Weblog Awards Finalists

2009-01-08T21:34:00.001-08:00

Here is a complete list of the finalists for The 2008 Weblog Awards. Finalists badges (hosted by Imageshack) will be available Wednesday. Voting is scheduled to begin on January 5, 2009.

Please note that the names of the Technorati Autority categories have changed, and two of the categories were merged into one. The master list of nominations posts is here.

I’d like to thank my team of volunteers who helped look through the thousands and thousands of nominations to come up with the best slate of finalists we’ve ever had. For those who were nominated but not selected as finalist, please read this.

Best Blog

  Hot Air
  Daily Kos
  Huffington Post
  Gawker
  Ben Smith - Politico
  The Consumerist
  Andrew Sullivan - The Daily Dish
  Comment is free…
  Boing Boing
  Threat Level - Wired Blogs

Best New Blog

  Sassy Bitch Society
  Winky Dog
  The Black Sphere
  UppityWoman08
  Boston Soul
  TYWKIWDBI
  Raisin Toast
  Blog Nosh Magazine
  ~ synthesis ~
  Democrashield
  swimming freestyle
  The Hook
  MOSSIP
  Grace the Spot

Best Individual Blogger

  Amanda Hill - Shamelessly Sassy
  Vilmer - KICKIN’ AND SCREAMIN’
  field negro
  The Anchoress
  Lindsay Beyerstein - Majikthise
  Rachel Lucas
  Melissa Clouthier
  Jules Crittenden
  Jo - Southern Sass on Crime
  Driftglass

Best Humor Blog

  i am bossy
  The Bloggess
  YesButNoButYes
  IMAO
  Mattress Police
  Mother May I Sleep With Treacher
  The Comics Curmudgeon
  My Mom is a Fob
  Boobs, Injuries and Dr Pepper
  Jon Swift

Best Comic Strip

  Day By Day
  Calamities of Nature
  Town Called Dobson
  Garfield Minus Garfield
  What the Duck
  The Book of Biff
  Medium-Large
  Dilbert
  Jesus and Mo
  xkcd

Best Online Community

  Strobist
  Jennifer Marohasy
  eHarlequin.com Community
  My Opera
  Metafilter Community Weblog
  Twenty something bloggers
  Sidepodcast
  SVUfans.net
  Android Community
  Michael Jackson Fan Forum

Best Liberal Blog

  Hullabaloo
  Think Progress
  Sadly, No!
  The BRAD BLOG
  Blue Gal
  Orcinus
  Truthdig
  Wonkette
  Taylor Marsh
  Shakesville
  Crooks & Liars
  The Confluence
  Glenn Greenwald’s Unclaimed Territory
  Talking Points Memo

Best Conservative Blog

  Victor Davis Hanson
  RedState
  Ace of Spades
  Power Line
  Eject, Eject, Eject!
  Plumb Bob Blog
  Michelle Malkin
  American Thinker
  Blue Collar Muse
  small dead animals
  Little Green Footballs
  Right Wing Nut House
  The Next Right
  Atlas Shrugs

Best Political Coverage

  India Uncut
  Savage Politics
  Truthdig
  Foreign Policy Watch
  Thurber’s Thoughts
  No Quarter
  From the Left
  American Thinker
  Pajama Pundit
  The Hook
  FiveThirtyEight
  Townhall
  Daily Kos
  Politico

Best Celebrity Blogger

  Kat Dennings
  John Mayer
  Britney Spears
  Alyssa Milano
  Kanye West
  Brea Grant
  Margaret Cho
  Mark Cuban
  Gilbert Areanas

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Check out these Sites - Gay, Lesbians

2009-01-08T21:33:00.001-08:00

After Ellen

Celeb Snacker

Dorothy Surrenders

Fuse Events

Girlbar

Go Gay WeHo

Go! Magazine

Grace The Spot

Hiking Hunnies

Lesbian Nightlife

One More Lesbian

Our Chart

Pink Is The New Blog

Real Gay LA

Subverge (Dating Site)

The Lesbian Lifestyle

The Smoking Cocktail

Your Daily Lesbian Moment

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Vote for lesbian/bi women in '09

2009-01-08T21:22:00.001-08:00

the linster

The 2008 Weblog Awards finalists were announced last week and several lesbian/bisexual bloggers are in the mix.

Since more than 5,000 blogs were nominated in 49 categories, making the slate of finalists is notable, to say the least. Here are a few to consider when you cast your vote.

AfterEllen.com She Got Me Pregnant vloggers, Dana and Helen, are nominated in the Best Large Blog category for their wonderful blog for lesbian moms, Mombian.com.

Mombian is like a lifeline for lesbian parents. At least that’s what my lesbian friends with kids say. Saints, every one of them.

Grace Chu’s blog, Grace the Spot, is nominated for Best New Blog. If you haven’t discovered this rowdy gaggle of Graces, you’re in for a treat.

I asked AfterEllen.com blogger Grace if she had something profound to share that might persuade you to vote for her blog:

Vote early and often. You can vote once a day. And like eating apples, you should! It won’t keep the doctor away, but it will keep me away, smiling in my virtual cocoon so that I am not a menace to society. Do it for the starving children in Africa and to spite the starving children on Wall Street!

I’m not sure what that means, but I’m kind of scared not to vote for her. Besides, Grace thought up that “8 Against 8” campaign against Prop 8, which raised $13,759 and made me proud to know her.

Bisexual comedian Margaret Cho is nominated for Best Celebrity Blogger.

Cho alternately infuriates and tickles me, but she never fails to entertain me. And she certainly earns big points for openly supporting LGBT causes this year — even before the rest of Hollywood got on board.

One of my favorite reads is LifeHacker, the brainchild of out lesbian Gina Trapani.

I readily admit to being a geek, but I think LifeHacker would be on my Google Reader even if I weren’t. On any given day, I can find out how to take a picture of fire, why "Tetris" is good for the soul and where to find a decent and affordable Web host. It has my vote for Best Technology Blog.

The ever-hilarious Riese, Marie Lynn Bernard, is a finalist in the Best LGBT Blog category for This Girl Called Automatic Win. Her post about the Weblog Awards is a great read and will give you a sense of what the awards mean to the bloggers. Riese is another of the “8 Against 8” and occasionally hangs out in Alexi’s Closet. (Here, she has just been called “a lady.”)

Other lesbian/bisexual bloggers that are finalists for Best LGBT Blog are:

The brilliant and stimulating Pam’s House Blend, which won the category in 2005 and 2006. When I happen to disagree with Pam, I want to throw things at the computer screen — because she’s so damn smart.

The stimulating of another kind Susie Bright’s Journal, from the woman who was lesbian sex consultant for Bound. I am eternally grateful.

Tammy Bruce, who encourages you to vote for another blog, since hers isn’t about LGBT issues. I know nothing about Bruce beyond what I just read on her blog, but I’m inclined to agree with her, if not her recommendation for what to vote for instead.

Shakesville, while not specifically lesbian, is certainly an advocate for our issues. It’s nominated for Best Liberal Blog.

The complete list of 2008 Weblog Award finalists with links to the sites is here. Voting continues until 5 p.m. ET January 13 and you can vote once every 24 hours. If you know of other sites on the list with lesbian or bisexual bloggers, let us know in the comments. And feel free to express your opinion on any and all finalists.

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Study: Family rejection dangerous for gays and lesbians

2009-01-08T21:19:00.001-08:00

By Andy Birkey 1/8/09 1:42 PM

A new study released this week has demonstrated a link between familial rejection among lesbian, gay and bisexual youth and health problems in young adulthood.

“Our research has established a predictive link between specific, negative family reactions to their child’s sexual orientation and serious health problems for these adolescents in young adulthood — such as depression, illegal drug use, risk for HIV infection, and suicide attempts,” said Dr. Caitlin Ryan of the César E. Chávez Institute at San Francisco State University.

Paradoxically, religious right groups frequently slam the LGBT community on the grounds that the “lifestyle” leads to high rates of depression, drug use, HIV infection and suicide attempts. This research suggests that the religious right’s efforts to cast gays and lesbians in a negative light might actually directly contribute to the very problems they associate with gays and lesbians.

Photo via laverrue.

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Bailouts gone wild: can money save sex?

2009-01-08T21:13:00.001-08:00

10:00AM Friday January 9, 2009

The global financial crisis reached new heights of absurdity this week when two of the big names in the 'adult entertainment industry' said they would ask the US government for a US$5 billion lump sum to ensure the future of porn.

According to a CNN website story, publisher of the hardcore Hustler magazine, Larry Flynt, and Joe Francis, the genius behind the 'Girls Gone Wild' franchise, would soon put their request to the US Treasury Secretary, Henry Paulson (the guy doling out taxpayer trillions to dysfunctional financial institutions, carmakers and other failed businesses).

"The US government should actively support the adult industry's survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people," Francis said in a statement.

While Flynt chimed in by saying: "With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

Some news reports appeared to take the porn rescue package seriously but I think it was just a piece of brilliant satire - a comedic version of another great Michael Lewis story in the New York Times this week titled 'The end of the financial world as we know it' and the sequel 'How to repair a broken financial world'.

Lewis criticises many elements of the US bailout program as well the deposit guarantee scheme. He says "with so much lending effectively federally guaranteed, lenders are fleeing anything that is not".

According to some of my sources, a similar trend is hitting New Zealand with some finance companies, who may have been close to falling over pre-guarantee, now experiencing record inflows. The Reserve Bank website shows over 60 financial institutions have now signed up to the scheme - none of whom appear to have links to the porn game.

- David Chaplin

tags: us government, bailout, 69mainstreet, cnn, larry flynnt, joe francis, girls gone wild

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The Real Girl

2009-01-08T20:59:00.001-08:00

News Update Thursday, Jan. 8, 2009
by Lawrence Ferber
2009-01-07

Since its debut in 1992, MTV's The Real World has illuminated televisions nationwide with fresh images of diverse, non-stereotypical and real queer young people including its first season's Norman Korpi ( NYC ) , HIV-positive Cuban Pedro Zamora ( San Francisco ) , bisexual Filipina Ruthie Alcaide ( Hawaii ) , African-American Karamo Brown ( Philadelphia ) and athlete Tyler Duckworth ( Key West ) . With its 21st edition, set in Brooklyn, N.Y., the show welcomes its first transgender cast member, Katelynn Cusanelli, who underwent sexual-reassignment surgery in Thailand just weeks before cameras rolled.

“I was at the point where I needed to do post-surgical care and that plays out as a part of the show,” she chares. “That was a factor while living there.”

In the season premiere, the full cast of eight ( another Real World first—it's typically seven members, sometimes with an eighth “surprise” housemate added later ) moves into a giant house situated in Brooklyn's Red Hook neighborhood ( which, due to its far-flung placement from public transport, has not been gentrified or hipster-saturated, like more predictable and expensive settings like Williamsburg or Park Slope ) . They include West Palm Beach-raised, Montana-based Katelynn, 24; snarky, metrosexual, Salt Lake City Mormon Chet Cannon, 23; Salt Lake City non-Mormon Baya Voce, 21; Gettysburg, Penn., Iraq war vet Ryan Conklin, 23; Kansas City, Mo., teen-pageant queen Devyn Simone, 20; San Francisco artist Sarah Rice, 22; muscular Salem, N.H., trainer Scott Herman, 23; and Miami Beach dolphin trainer J.D. Ordonez, 22.

Cusanelli remains mum about being transgender at first, but a couple of housemates quickly prove keen transpotters, including the openly gay Ordonez. In an effort to make her feel comfortable and give her the opportunity to disclose her status, he invites her to a one-on-one dinner in Manhattan's very LGBT Chelsea neighborhood. They indeed bond over the evening.

Real World producers sought out young people “with stories to tell” for their 2009 edition. Cusanelli, who decided to audition while waiting with a friend at a casting call, felt she not only had a worthy story to share, but saw a great opportunity to contribute to transgendered representation in the media.

Familiar with the show and the privacy she would relinquish if cast—even the bathroom's several showers are partly transparent—Cusanelli was also prepared for the possibility of a conservative, conflict-stirring Puck-style housemate. “It's MTV's Real World, they're going to cast divergent personalities,” she affirms. “Singing ‘Kumbaya' is not how this goes. They're going to cast someone who is the antithesis of me just to cause drama, and there was drama because they cast eight people who are strong-willed in their own right.”

One of those people is Cannon, who seems to enjoy, and even encourages, being perceived as gay. However, his conservative, hetero-identified Republican side becomes more pronounced by Election Night, and he wasn't alone in his political leanings, according to Cusanelli. “Scott is a Republican and lies about being a millionaire,” she shared, “and, as a result, wasn't at all for Obama!”

In a later episode, the cast appears at the NYC LGBT Community Center's Election Night Party ( where several cast members volunteered ) . “Chet surrounded by 400 queers watching a Black man become president—he was a bit uncomfortable!” she recalled with a laugh. “But Chet is far, far more open-minded than I think people give him credit for. I'm mot sure if he celebrated [ the passages of ] Proposition 8 and Amendment 2. I think that Chet is more for humane treatment of all people rather than rigid dogmatic morality.”

Cusanelli is frank when fielding questions about her castmates and the experience—that, or she had a mean poker face. She dubbed Sarah, who previously leaned towards lesbian relationships but is currently involved with a man, a bona fide has-bian. Asked whether rumors that Ordonez slept with Anderson Cooper are true, she brusquely replied, “I have no idea! To be honest I wasn't that concerned with J.D.'s relationships. I honestly don't give a damn.” And, an admitted tech geek, she was frequently put to use by even the production crew: “Oh, I did so much tech support in that damn house it's not funny! Production asked me to fix that dinosaur of a computer they gave us.”

Now back in Missoula, Mont., with her supportive boyfriend, Mike ( seen briefly in the first episode ) , Cusanelli admitted the experience was life-changing in numerous respects, from her personal growth to chosen family. “I expected to go in and meet six strangers and maybe walk away with a friend,” she said, “but I met seven amazing individuals and walked away with a plethora of friends for life. I have bridesmaids now!”

Does she wish a second trans cast member had been amongst them? “That was a secret hope of mine,” she admitted, “but in a way I'm glad they didn't [ cast a second such housemate ] . If you get two trans people together, they compare their experiences to see whose is more ‘valid.' Two sets of those hormones might not have been good.”

The Real World: Brooklyn premieres Wed., Jan. 7, at 9 p.m. CT. Check www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/real_world_brooklyn/series.jhtml for more information and additional footage.

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BodyBugg Calorie Counterfrom

2009-01-06T21:38:00.001-08:00

by Duncan Riley

If you’ve never heard of the BodyBugg calorie counter before, get set because the device is featured on the new season of The Biggest Loser.

The BodyBugg is a device that helps users keep a 24-hour watch on how many calories they burn and consume in a single day. The small BodyBugg band is worn on your upper arm throughout the day, calculating how many calories you are burning by recording your activity level. It calculates the loss by measuring specific information such as body temperature and information entered upfront such as weight, height and age.

Here’s where it gets interesting. Each night users upload the information from the BodyBugg onto a computer and then add in what they ate for the day to get a total. The BodyBugg system also advises users how many calories they should be consuming to reach their goals. The only catch: the web component includes a monthly fee for access.

Surprisingly for a gadget like this the reviews for BodyBugg have been positive, with New Scientist praising the setup. Most users report liking the product, but some complain about the fee.

The BodyBugg featured on The Biggest Loser has a RRP of $349 which includes a three-month subscription to the web-based program and one private phone session with a Body Bugg coach.

If the cost is too high, eBay has better deals here or go direct to the auctions below:

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Researchers Find Breast Cancer Gene, Spur Hope for New Drugs

2009-01-06T21:20:00.001-08:00

By Jason Gale

Jan. 6 (Bloomberg) -- Researchers discovered a gene involved in the spread of breast cancer, which may lead to new treatments for a disease that kills about 1 in 35 women.

The gene, called metadherin, may be crucial to cancer’s spread because it helps tumor cells stick to blood vessels in distant organs, researchers at Princeton University and the Cancer Institute of New Jersey found. The gene also makes tumors more resistant to drugs used to wipe out deadly cells.

Breast cancer is the most frequently diagnosed malignancy in U.S. women, excluding cancer of the skin, according to the American Cancer Society. Determining the genetic mechanism involved in the disease’s spread, known as metastasis, may help answer one of the biggest mysteries in cancer research.

“Inhibiting this gene in breast cancer patients will simultaneously achieve two important goals -- reduce the chance of recurrence and, at the same time, decrease the risk of metastatic dissemination,” Yibin Kang, an assistant professor of molecular biology at Princeton who led the research, said in a statement on the Cancer Institute’s Web site. “These are the two major reasons why breast cancer patients die from the disease.”

The finding, published today in Cancer Cell, is based on three years of work, using an approach that combines the emerging science of integrative genomics with the classical methods of clinical research and laboratory experiments, the authors said.

Quick Spread

Breast cancer is caused by a malignant tumor that develops from cells in the breast. The most common sign of breast cancer is a new lump or mass in the breast. Scientists once thought that breast cancer spread first to nearby tissue and underarm lymph nodes before reaching other parts of the body. They now believe cancer cells may break away from the primary tumor in the breast even when the disease is in an early stage.

After re-analyzing clinical breast cancer databases and tumor samples collected from patients, the researchers found an area of human chromosome 8 called 8q22 is repeated multiple times in the genomes of potentially lethal breast tumors. Most normal DNA sequences contain only two copies of a given gene, conveyed from the genomes of the male and female parents.

The researchers went on to discover that among a handful of genes in the 8q22 region, metadherin, also known as MTDH, is responsible for the aggressive behavior of some tumors. The scientists found that tumors which over-express MTDH are more likely to spread to the lungs, other vital organs and bones. These tumors were also found to be more resistant to some chemotherapy agents.

“By analyzing 250 breast tumor samples from patients, we found that this gene is amplified and over-expressed in over 30 to 40 percent of breast cancer cases,” Kang said. “This indicates that new drugs against metadherin may potentially benefit a large population of breast cancer patients.”

The work was funded by a Department of Defense Era of Hope Scholar Award and grants from the National Institutes of Health, the American Cancer Society, the Susan G. Komen Foundation and the New Jersey Commission on Cancer Research.

To contact the reporters on this story: Jason Gale in Singapore at j.gale@bloomberg.net

Last Updated: January 6, 2009 07:27 EST

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bodybugg: The Worlds Most Intelligent Weight-Loss System

2009-01-06T21:16:00.001-08:00

What to find out more about getting in shape using the new calorie counter that is on the biggest loser. Check out these videos:

Here what some people are saying:

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Product Information

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Has anyone out there started used this system yet? If you have tell us about it and if it worked for you.

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Why America Is Still Awesome

2009-01-03T20:41:00.001-08:00

By John Devore

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Every Saturday we let some of our favorite writers fill in for us. Today, a man by the name of John Devore gives America a pep-talk. Mr. Devore has written and edited for Maxim and other magazines (which are like the internet, but on paper and with skinnier pornography) and currently hosts "People of the United States with John DeVore" on satellite radio's P.O.T.U.S, Sirius Channel 110/XM 130, weekdays from 6 to 9 PM EST. It is a live call-in show about politics, pop and the finer points of the human condition.

First things first: Don't freak out about the title. I know things look bleak. You're stocking up on shotgun shells and Dinty Moore Beef Stew, dreading the day you inevitably have to pitchfork-fight a hobo over the last piece of firewood in the Hooverville. Hell, you might even be thinking that Kanye West was wrong for once: maybe "The Good Life" isn't all that. Maybe the mass pursuit of diamond-spackled grills, champagne Jacuzzis and McMansions the size of Vatican City was not actually the happiness we totally had the right to pursue.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/awesomerica/guest1.jpg" alt="" />
Kanye West's on-second-thought-unnecessary house.

This past year, we learned that karma is a bitch. That Wall Street is run by Hamburglars. The government is basically too many pigs at too small a trough. That we're broke, at war(s) and, instead of dealing with it, we've chosen to watch celebrities dance, dance, dance for the bloodthirsty hordes. We torture to make ourselves feel safer, cheat each other to make ourselves richer and have generally behaved like raging assholes.

I get all that, and still I say with total and utter conviction: America is awesome. And we're awesome because we are batshit, out of our minds crazy. The French are intellectuals, the Russians are brooders and the Chinese are hard workers. Americans are crazy. Our optimism, ambition, and self-interest verges on the manic.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/awesomerica/guest2.jpg" alt="" />
America.

Think about it - we're a country of over 300 million people, and each of us is told, and honestly, earnestly believes that we're special. That we have a right to pursue happiness. There's no guarantee that happiness will ever happen. We're just cleared to chase, lunge and claw after that happiness, like an eternal dangling carrot. Our dreams matter. This is pounded into us. It is part of our collective DNA. Everyone is special. We believe it, even if it isn't true.

When we succeed, we succeed big (see: the Empire State Building, Moon landing, cheese-stuffed pizza crust). When we fail, we fail big (see: the Great Depression, Slavery, Spider-man 3). We lurch and strive and aspire to greatness. Other countries fear us (not just because we have over 7,000 tactical nukes, though how utterly crazy is that?). They fear us, mainly, because we are an experiment, and experiments can explode. Or they can go on a rampage, like Frankenstein's monster.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/awesomerica/guest3.jpg" alt="" />
These two things are also America.

Frankenstien might actually be the closest cultural predecessor. America isn't a democracy where majority rules. We're an anti-tyranny-ocracy. We're terrified of tyranny, no matter what form it takes: the government, the free market, your neighbors. The mob can never fully be trusted. Don't tread on me. Get off my lawn. The forefathers had total faith in two things: "freedom" and "people are jerks." They knew that power corrupts, and so they created a system where power is like a bacon-grease slathered football: slippery.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/awesomerica/guest4.jpg" alt="" />
And delicious.

Checks and balances, filibusters and the rule of law. Eventually, the person who's got the power will drop it. And then there's a madcap, sometimes vicious scramble. Then someone has the football again. Repeat.

I like to think of myself as a Patriot. I know that's kind of cheesy, but I've OD'd on snark recently. Sorry internet, but pure, uncut ironic disaffection has become an inadequate coping mechanism. I am not a bible-thumping, jingoistic redneck with the stars and stripes tattooed over generous man boobs. Nor am I an effete, pseudo-intellectual hipster with smooth, manicured hands who blames America for inventing cancer, earthquakes and human vices. But I am a Patriot, because this country gives me the right to be off my rocker.

Let me define my Patriotism: I think America is awesome the way the Whos in Whoville think Christmas is awesome. A Grinch can steal all the accouterments of patrio-eroticism --the flag, the eagle, the Statue of Liberty. And like the Whos, who didn't require gifts or a tree to celebrate Christmas, I will happily salute the idea that defines "America."

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/awesomerica/guest5.jpg" alt="" />
And this is America, too.

And that idea is basically that I get to say this: I am John DeVore and you are not. I am a right wing pinko, a militant centrist, a control freak anarchist. I believe in gun rights and gay rights. I want gays to experience the joys of divorce, and I want them to be well armed. I am a Texan, which means I'm the American equivalent of a Klingon. But I live in Queens, New York, one of the most ethnically diverse places on Earth. My local dive bar is the United Nations. I'm a half-Mexican/half-redneck, who was raised both a Catholic and a Baptist. How many countries does that happen in? It happens here like ... all the time. I'm not even the weirdest multicultural mutt out there - we elected one for president.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/awesomerica/guest6.jpg" alt="" />
You know he's part-Skrull, too? Weird, right?

I have dreams, and I work my ass off stumbling in the general direction of those dreams. And all I ask is this: If I tell you to get off my lawn, get off my lawn. If I don't tell you to get off my lawn, come on in! Let's drink beer and play Xbox. I am one of approximately 301,139,947 other people who all think they are special. Are we all really special? Who knows. Probably not. It's a savage world and life is cheap. But we think we are. That's what counts.

I'm not excusing our excesses and mistakes. Actions have consequences, and even America is not immune to that fundamental fact of nature. We all go down together. But we're still awesome, not down for the count. It is a dark time for the rebel alliance. But our adaptability and individuality will succeed. Each of us will succeed, alone and together. We can't count on politicians because, let's face it, they are glorified sanitation workers. Count, instead, on the Awesomeness of America: our pursuit will not be deterred or delayed. Don't call it a comeback.

Winston Churchill once wrote "Always count on America to do the right thing, after they've exhausted every other option." Well we've done everything except the right thing for a nice long stretch of time and we're, if nothing else, exhausted. Looks like we're well on our way ladies and gents!

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You Cheated. Now What?

2009-01-03T20:36:00.001-08:00

November 24, 2008 - 11:00 am, By Kathryn S

I have a confession to make. You can judge me all you want, but I’m coming clean:

I cheated on my last boyfriend.

No, it wasn’t a long, torrid love affair. It wasn’t kinky sex with a Jeremy Piven lookalike. In fact, there was no sex involved. All I did was make out with a co-worker. But still, cheating is cheating, so tonsil hockey still counts in my book. It also counted in my boyfriend’s book. And it counted in his sister’s book…and she was the one who witnessed the fiasco.

It was innocent enough; I didn’t intend to cheat. I wasn’t emotionally attached to my co-worker. We just got blackout drunk at a bar and swapped saliva for about half an hour.

The next morning, I woke up feeling like I’d done something wrong. Yup, I had. My boyfriend’s sister asked me if I remembered making out with “Frank.” Immediately, my heart sank. I got dizzy. I wanted to throw up. My mind started racing a mile a minute, as is standard anxiety-attack protocol. Why would I do something like that with Frank, a guy I had absolutely no interest in, when I was happy and in love with her brother?

A lot of people will disagree with me for saying this, but cheating can be hard on the cheater. I was ashamed of myself, I cried, and I regretted doing so many shots the night before. What’s a cheater to do when they’ve crossed the line with someone else?

1. Ask yourself if it meant anything. Did you cheat because you like the other guy? Do you want a relationship with him? Did you cheat because you aren’t happy with your current boyfriend? I think in my case, deep down, I was scared, because I was in the most serious relationship I’d ever been in. Things were moving fast, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be shackled down and on the fast track to Housewifesville. I think that’s why I dabbled with a guy who meant nothing to me. But that’s my own conclusion. If you’ve cheated on any level (and there are some people out there who believe in emotional cheating as well), you need to get to the root of your own behavior before you can move on and deal with it with your man.

2. Weigh the options: To tell, or not to tell. I pretty much had to tell my boyfriend, because I am the dumbass who decided to cuckold her man in front of his sister. She probably would have told him if I hadn’t done it myself. That’s not to say that I wouldn’t have told, because my conscience gets to me if I snap at a telemarketer, and I probably would have been guilt-ridden for the remaining duration of my relationship if I’d kept it quiet. On the other hand, to what degree does “What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him” apply? Like I said, I wasn’t into my cheating-partner AT ALL. It never happened again, and Frank and I never talked about our random makeout sesh. So even though it meant nothing to Frank and me, it meant a lot of pain for my boyfriend. That said, you have to seriously consider all of the consequences and do what you think is most fair to your man. I’m not saying “Don’t tell him, and avoid being dumped,” because sorry, cheater, you brought this on yourself. But I do believe that there may be some instances where your man might be better off not knowing. That part’s up to you.

3. Talk to him. If you do decide to come clean, the “Hey, sweetie, I collected a DNA sample from another dude” talk isn’t going to be pretty. Telling the truth might be the moral way to go, but you have to realize that when you tell him you cheated, you are putting the ball completely in his court. From here, it’s really his decision as to whether you two work things out, or whether he kicks your ass to the curb. He might need some time to think about things, or you may have to have several discussions to work it out. You have to be patient with your guy– after all, you made the decision to cheat in the first place, so you’ll have to reap what you sew.

4. Prepare for the future. If you have the talk and decide to work things out, you have to commit to NOT cheating again, ever. If your guy can forgive you once, that’s great, but don’t test him a second time. Also, even if he does forgive you, it might be difficult (or even impossible) to get back to the way things were before. He might have difficulty trusting you, and, if he knows the guy you cheated with, he probably won’t want you hanging out with that guy again.

While it’s normal to have a few bumps in the road as you try to work things out, don’t let your guy guilt-trip you forever. Remember, you were honest enough to come clean and work things out, but you don’t deserve to have your mistake hanging over your head for the rest of your life. If you can work things out as mature adults, good for you. If you can’t, and he leaves you, it might suck for a while, but in the end, it was probably meant to be. Another guy will come along… and hopefully you will have learned your lesson and be more faithful the next time around.

Tags: Advice, affair, ashamed, behavior, boyfriend, break up, cheat, commitment, cuckold, decision, DNA, faithful, girlfriend, heartbreak, honesty, make out, mistake, pain, relationship, saliva, serious, sex, single, truth, 69mainstreet

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Hey, I’ve Seen You Naked…Nice Weather We’re Having

2009-01-03T20:27:00.001-08:00

September 26, 2008 - 10:00 am, By Kathryn S

Just because you’ve finally hooked up with someone, doesn’t mean anything has been solidified or any questions have been answered. In fact, the love sesh may have raised even more questions: was it good? Was it just a fling, or were there feelings involved? Is it going to happen again? Should you regret it? Does he regret it? Can you go back in time and pretend it never happened?

Depending on the relationship you had with the guy before the hook-up; the scenarios in which you’ll interact after the hook-up; and how much discussion you had before, during, and after the hook-up, the first “reunion” can be totally smooth, or completely cringe-worthy. And, for the record, the first reunion does not include your first words the morning after when both of you are still in bed…naked…and possiby still drunk.

How do you deal? If your first meeting with your last fling falls into one of the following categories, you need to work on your post-play approach.

1. The Awkward Aversion

You don’t know how he feels, and if it means avoiding rejection, you’re fine not knowing. You may respond to his presence by interrupting someone else’s conversation to avoid having to talk to him, fumbling with your phone to appear busy, or simply leaving the room. This will come off as either immature or disinterested. If he does like you and you blatantly ignore him, he’ll think you regret it. Unlike girls who want what they can’t have, guys are more likely to give up if you’ve bruised their ego. If you do like him, I suggest developing a different method.

2. The “Sex? What Sex? We Never Had Sex” Approach

You’re trying to play it cool. Too cool. You smile at him -great!- and follow it with a punch to the shoulder and a “Hey, buddy! Did you catch Monday Night Football last night?” You probably won’t catch his eye for more than a nanosecond, and rapidly come up with small-talk conversation starters because you’re afraid of a lull in the conversation, which may or may not lead to the line, “Should we talk about last Saturday?” You may use this approach if you were comfortable with him before, and afraid that you’ve ruined the friendship (or acquaintanceship) you used to share with the guy. This could be taken two ways: like the aversion approach, your guy could assume that you want to forget about it; on the other hand, you could come off as being too casual in the wake of the hook-up. Perhaps you’ve done this before, and often.

3. The Shameless Strut

You want him to remember what he had, and want it again. Even if you aren’t looking for a relationship, you want the satisfaction of knowing he’s still attracted to the cow after he’s gotten the milk for free. If you anticipate the reunion, you dress up for the occasion. Even if it’s unexpected, you immediately try to be the center of attention and the life of the party, so he can see that along with your hot looks you’ve got a great personality. Perhaps you’ll even place yourself in the middle of a passionate conversation with another guy, just so the recent fling will see what a hot commodity you are. But this isn’t the best idea; like the “We never had sex” approach, this can make you look like you bedhop more often than a European backpacker.

4. The Far-Too-Forward Front

He obviously wanted you on Saturday, so why should he feel differently on Monday? As soon as he enters the room, you’re glued to his side, cracking inside jokes that you shared last weekend (well, inside jokes to you, but neurotically minimal details to him). You find flirty ways to touch him, and don’t let him get a word in edgewise with any other girl in the room. This move immediately raises a red flag, because even if he was interested in moving into a relationship, he’s now seeing the next few months flash before his eyes, and it involves a clingy, controlling girlfriend. It’s the moment when you brush his hair out of his eyes and call him a brand new nickname that he realizes how much he loves being single.

5. The Fatal Attraction Fiasco

Your first meeting with him since - you know - is an encounter with him and at least one other girl. It could be as harmless as him tutoring a girl from his English class, or talking to a few old female friends around a keg. Maybe he’s simply holding a door for a stranger who happens to possess two X-chromosomes. No matter how innocent, it triggers some sort of jealous rage that prompts you to bitch him out, call him a player, and basically look like a complete psycho. Do I need to explain why this is going to put him off?

It can be difficult to play your cards right the first time you bump into a former fling, especially if you have your own doubts about the way you left things when you said goodbye. The best thing to do is be yourself, and try to read his own body language. If you want to talk about what happened, approach the subject honestly, and at the right moment. You don’t want to call him out in front of your friends, but you also don’t want to corner him and put him on the spot to evaluate all of his feelings for you.

If you play it cool, you have a far better chance of getting what you what (if it’s him that you want), and if things don’t work out, good news: you’re young, you’re single, and you’re on a college campus with thousands of other cuties to choose from.

Tags: approach, attention, aversion, awkward, boyfriend, clingy, controlling, conversation, Cringe, dating, discussion, ego, embarrassing, fatal attraction, fling, flirt, fool around, foreplay, Forward, Friends, girlfriend, honesty, hook up, hot commodity, ignore, make out, morning after, one night stand, personality, psycho, rejection, relationship, reunion, sex, shameless, slut, strut, talk, tryst,69mainstreet

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Phone Sex: A Whole New Meaning to ‘Hotline’

2009-01-03T20:22:00.001-08:00

6 hours, 41 minutes ago By S.E. - Fordham

For those of us in long distance relationships, or those of us are not near our significant others during this long winter break, it can be hard to keep in touch sexually when we can’t physically get it on. My guy and I are over 700 miles apart and recently found a fun and kinky way to keep ourselves occupied.

And it involves a cellular.

Yes, the topic is taboo and everyone feels all weird about it, but phone sex is a great way to stay close in a relationship even when you’re miles apart.

While some may be too shy to start talking dirty over the phone lines, I have a few tips to keep in mind when trying out phone sex.

First off, relax!! (Editor’s Note: A glass of wine may help…) Phone sex is something to have fun with, not get all worried about. If you’re nervous, just try thinking of what would happen if your partner was actually there. Take a deep breath and ask something general such as, “What would you do to me if you were here?” This might be easier to say then just asking “Wanna have phone sex?” because you end up taking the pressure off of yourself to start the convo, making him answer first instead.

Okay, now that you’re nice and relaxed, it’s time to get frisky on the phone. Phone sex is a great way to open up intimate conversation with your boy and say things you might not be brave enough to say to his face. If you’re too shy to start talking dirty, get him to open up first. When you see how eager he is to participate, you’ll soon be able to let loose. Don’t worry about sounding stupid or fake; the deeper you get into the conversation, the more you’ll ease up. The first time I tried phone sex with my boyfriend, I let him do most of the talking because I was too nervous about sounding dumb. Now that we’re more comfortable with each other, we can let our imaginations run wild.

Another way to start having phone sex is to remind your guy of a previous sexual encounter. Remember when Big used to call Carrie to “reminisce”? This eliminates any potential awkwardness, and when you two talk about past things you’ve done, it is easy to steer the conversation to things you’d like to do in the future. This gets the conversation flowing, which will instantly make you wonder what you were so worried about.

The next time you and your honey are separated, a good dose of phone sex will have you feeling closer than ever. My boyfriend and I have used phone sex as a way to learn each other’s turn-ons and to build anticipation when we’re not together. And believe me, nothing is hotter then finally reuniting and acting out those conversations!

So, give it a shot; just make sure to hold out for someone you trust and care about. This is a very intimate situation and one that shouldn’t be shared with just anyone.

Would you try phone sex? Why or why not?

Tags: big, boyfriend, carrie bradshaw, cell phone, conversation, dirty, frisky, long distance, naughty, phone sex, relationship, relax, reminisce, sex, sex and the city, sexual encounter, sexual relationship

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FOXSexpert: 9 Ways to Keep the Passion in Your Sex Life

2009-01-03T03:06:00.001-08:00

Monday, December 08, 2008

Yvonne K. Fulbright

This topic can never be tackled enough. The consequences of ignoring it are huge, which is why it’s great that I get asked about it quite often. Whether a swinging single, in a fledgling new love affair or a seasoned sex enthusiast, everyone wants to know: How do I make sure my sex life never gets boring?

This is an excellent question because every couple, eventually, gets to a point where those Thai leftovers in the fridge look a lot better than their lover. Partners who fail to get proactive with passion wake up one day to find that their sex life has been relegated to a once-in-a-while, check-your-watch, hide-your-yawn, feign-enthusiasm sort of obligation. It nearly goes without saying that every lover in a relationship must make special efforts to ensure that things never get dull.

These passion-inducing attempts can include the following:

1. Initiate Some E-Sex Before Your Next Rendezvous

It's a playful and subtle, but a make no mistake way of suggesting potential fantasies to act out. Plus, e-sex lets your desires for your love be known, acting as a fun form of foreplay. You could either write about what you're going to do to your lucky lover the next time you let yourselves get all sexy or what you want to have done to you.

If you're a little shy, don your erotica writer hat. Describe a carnal couple going at it instead, remembering that your power of persuasion is in the dirty details. Go heavy on amorous adjectives. Your lover is sure to get the hint that it’s really the two of you you’re talking about. Revisiting the e-sex later in bed is sure to have major payoffs.

2. Reinvent Yourself

Sexy means sporting a well-groomed, passion-inducing presentation. For starters, clean up your act. Stop burping and passing gas — if you can at all help it. Don’t wear clothes you need to sniff to learn if they’re clean. Dress for a sexy state of mind. Act like you’re the hottest thing to ever walk this earth. Foster your lover’s sense of sexiness as well.

You can do this by paying your partner compliments. Or you can ask him to wear fabrics that make you want to be touched all over. Or buy her outfits that test the waters for more daring sexual escapades. For example, Agent Provocateur sells very feminine, sexy items like collars, whips and tassels that may encourage her to take charge in bed. Regularly recreating your sexual images helps the two of you to keep each other erotically engaged.

3. Play Up P.D.A.

While “get a room” public display of affection is often unsexy (at least to those forced to witness the groping), a little bit of P.D.A. can go a long way. Touch your partner a lot while you're out, even when you’re in the car on the way home. The more interest you show before you get to your boudoir, the more responsive and excited your lover will become as you make foreplay more of an out-and-about affair than a mere pre-game warm up.

4. Temperature Check

A scorching hot sex life is highly dependent on how your relationship reads. Lovers tend to be reflections of each other. So you want to ask if you’re treating your partner the way you’d want to be treated. Make an effort to talk and listen to one another daily. Show interest in your lover. Doing so helps to thwart any negative energy and keeps the two of you connected — all of which encourages amorous action in the boudoir.

5. Explore Third-Party Action ...

... with a sex toy, that is. There's potential in every sexual enhancement product, even the ones that seem lame. Have a ball testing the wide variety of products available to you, even if a few take you back to the basics, forcing you to enjoy the more simple pleasures and sensations of sex. The more you can make sexplay an exploration — full of fresh adventures — the more you’ll want to embark upon these erotic expeditions.

6. Gamble Your Way to More Game

Make a bet with your lover. The best part is that both of you win, with the loser needing to do something (that must be stated ahead of time) sexual or kinky, with unusual being key. Funny is even better.

7. Help Out

It’s simple, but often overlooked. Do things for each other, showing gratitude in the form of favors. Knowing what kind of “reward” you’re going to get for your chivalrous efforts can also make the mundane, like washing your beloved’s car, much more fun.

8. Hang Out

Happy lovers tend to be good friends. They enjoy spending time together. So date — and do it on a regular basis. This can be as simple as a picnic in the park, a day at the beach, dinner at home, hot tubbing, or an evening of dancing. You can also, on occasion, steal off to a country inn, take a ski trip, or go camping. No matter what you choose to do, remember that your goal is to spend quality time together.

9. Pick Each Other Up

Plan a rendezvous in which the two of you act out roles in public. For example, meet in a bar as strangers, being sure to assign roles ahead of time, such as she’s a married woman trolling for a one-night stand. Stay in character until you get home.

Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."

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WWE website now featuring "nude photos" of Vickie Guerrero

2009-01-03T03:03:00.001-08:00

Jan 3, 2009 - 01:31 AM

The WWE website is displaying "nude photos" of Smackdown general manager Vickie Guerrero. The shots are censored to cover her breasts and other "private areas." You can check out the photos at WWE.com. [Thanks to Dot Net reader Chris Johnson]

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mobile device! Visit us on your iPhone, Blackberry, or other WAP phone. (Just enter "prowrestling.net" in your browser window.) Dot Net Mobile___Dot Net Mobile ADD US TO YOUR RSS FEEDER subscribe to this feed AND BOOKMARK US button3 ALSO SUBSCRIBE TO

2009-01-03T03:02:00.001-08:00

Jan 3, 2009 - 01:31 AM

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Orgasmic Birth: The Natural Reality Behind The Hype

2009-01-03T02:57:00.001-08:00

Orgasmic Birth certainly is a grabber of a title. Those aren't two words normally found close together in a sentence. In our culture, other adjectives are more common. Painful Childbirth. Traumatic Childbirth.

So it's no surprise that Debra Pascalli-Bonaro's film Orgasmic Birth has become the center of some controversy. It was featured on a segment of ABC's January 2nd episode of 20/20 about "Extreme Birth" and a few weeks ago The New York Times picked a up story on the movie, which caused a flurry of comments and sent a small shockwave through the blogosphere.

Pascalli-Bonaro says she wishes some critics who just seem to see the title would actually see the film. "It's really about the range of choices women have for experiencing birth, some of which most women aren't even aware of. There are eleven couples featured in the movie. Some use words like 'pain' and 'fear' to describe their experience but others use 'transformative', 'blissful', and 'spiritual'. Two of them use the word 'orgasmic'. This sounds strange in our culture because we're used to seeing birth dealt with on an illness model, rather than a wellness model. Birth is part of a woman's sexual life."

Laura Shanley, author of the book Unassisted Childbirth was also featured on 20/20 and agrees with the premise of the film. "There are benefits to the mother beyond helping them rid themselves of shame, fear and guilt. An orgasm is 22 times more powerful than a tranquilizer and during sexual arousal a woman's vagina can widen as much as two inches. When women find their power during the birth experience and learn to ride the contractions, it can be an incredible, even healing experience."

The 'normal' way that women in the United States give birth - laying prone in a room full of strangers - is not the natural way. It might even be the cause of some birth problems. Shanley cites a study that showed that when a stranger enters a room where a pregnant monkey is housed, :both the heart rate and the blood pressure of her fetus goes down. Of course, in the delivery room a drop in the heart rate of the baby often triggers a Cesarean section."

Shanley says that stress and 'fight or flight' reactions cause huge changes in a woman's body. "There's a reason that animals seek seclusion in birth. Everyone understands that being in a brightly lit room with a group of people watching you wouldn't make a comfortable environment for someone going to the bathroom or having sex. But for an equally intimate, personal activity like birth, people don't make the connection. Woman don't need to choose between drugs, epidurals, and Cesarean sections on one hand and fear of a natural but painful childbirth on the other. There really is a third way and it's more natural."

Pascali-Bonaro says that many changes to make birth a more pleasurable, healthy experience for women are simple and inexpensive. "Americans spend more money than any other country on medical care but that doesn't mean we're getting the best care. Simple things like dimming lights, allowing the mother creative space to move around and having music, natural sounds or even just silence can make a huge difference."

Ultimately, Pascali-Bonaro says that she's an advocate of mothers making informed birth choices. Since making the film, she's learned orgasmic birth is more common than she thought. "We've screened the movie in 28 countries and women always come up to me and 'You know, I never thought about it before...but I think I had one, too!'"

Lee Stranahan is writer, filmmaker and teacher who blogs at LeeStranahan.com. His wife Lauren gave birth to their two children as unassisted, at-home births.

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Transgender 'Top Model' Contestant - ISIS

2009-01-02T19:41:00.001-08:00

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Average American Transsexual Girl

2009-01-02T19:32:00.001-08:00

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My life as a Transsexual

2009-01-02T19:30:00.001-08:00

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being transgender

2009-01-02T19:28:00.001-08:00

Part One

Part Two

TRANSGENDER: SOME WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT FROM JELISSA JACONI

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Trans-etiquette

2009-01-02T19:16:00.001-08:00

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10 Things You Should Never Say to a Porn Star

2009-01-02T18:19:00.001-08:00

It's AVN season, the time when porn stars dress up in their finest PVC attire and compete for awards in categories such "Best All-Girl 3-Way Sex Scene." And for those lucky enough to be attending the AVN awards on January 10th in Las Vegas, it's also the time when porn stars leap out of the DVD player and come to life to pose for pictures and sign your time-worn copy of "Jenna Loves Rocco."

Luckily, adult entertainer and Wicked Girl Stormy Daniels (who is nominated for both "Best Supporting Actress" and "Crossover Star of the Year") was kind enough to give us some pointers on how to keep your foot out of your mouth when faced with your favorite porn stars. Read on to find out 10 things you should never say to a porn star.

10. You're too pretty to do porn. (So, you're saying you would prefer to watch ugly people f*ck?)

9. Your vagina must be really worn out. (Mine isn't nearly as bad as your mother's after pushing such a giant idiot like you out of it.)

8. I would never watch porn. I think it is degrading to women. (Then how did you know my name? And my measurements? And my astrological sign? And my birthdate?)

7. How do I get my girlfriend/wife to do ________? (Ask her, not me. By the way, talking to me in the first place is not helping your cause.)

6. Wow! You're so much prettier/younger/thinner in your photos. (Obviously your mother didn't teach you anything and it is called Photoshop.)

5. I pleasured myself to you 10 times this week! (OK, I didn't need to know precisely how pathetic you are. And stop trying to shake my hand. I now unfortunately know exactly where it has been.)

4. I could do porn. (No, you couldn't. If you could, you already would be ... and no, I will NOT audition you!)

3. Are those yours? (Well, I paid for them.)

2. Do you think you are going to hell? (Discussing religion with a porn star will get you as far as discussing porn with your grandmother ... just don't try it.)

1. I wanna take you out on a "real" date. ( I did not realize all my other ones were imaginary.)

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WTF Friday: Naughty Shopping Bags

2009-01-02T15:50:00.001-08:00

5 hours, 47 minutes ago By CC Staff

Yes, you are seeing a man cup a woman’s va-jay on a shopping bag. WTF?
Is this a brilliant scheme to get men to the malls, or the idea of a drunken frat boy that somehow caught on?

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Americans embrace gay-friendly proposals

2009-01-02T08:50:00.001-08:00

Monday, December 29, 2008

Deb Price

Gay Congressman Barney Frank likes to tell the tale of the mother who reacts with love and acceptance to the news that her son is gay, but warns him: "Just don't tell your father. It would kill him."

Frank's story illuminates a misimpression, even among gay-friendly Americans -- that other folks' internal thermometer toward gay people and our rights is stuck close to freezing.

But as the nation prepares for a new Congress and president, a recent Newsweek poll indicates that politicians shouldn't run from gay-friendly feelings.

What makes the Newsweek poll especially valuable is that the responses to its wide range of questions underscore that, other than on same-sex marriage, most Americans would embrace steps to pass laws to treat those of us who're gay equally.

A lot of that warming trend reflects how common it is now for Americans to know someone gay: Today, 78 percent say they know someone gay or lesbian, Newsweek found. Early in Bill Clinton's presidency, 1994, 53 percent did.

Newsweek found:

• By 87 to 10 percent, Americans favor "equal rights" for gays "in terms of job opportunities."

• By 66 to 29 percent, Americans support allowing gays to serve "openly" in the military.

• By 67 to 27 percent, Americans support Social Security benefits for gay "domestic partners."

• By 73 to 23 percent, Americans favor "health insurance and other employee benefits" for gay partners.

Most Americans even favor some type of legal recognition: By 55 to 36 percent, the majority support "legally sanctioned gay and lesbian unions or partnerships." People also were asked what is "more morally objectionable" to them, with a series of heterosexual situations compared with a "gay couple in a long term, committed sexual relationship."

Viewed as more morally objectionable than the gay couple were an adulterous heterosexual (55 to 18 percent); an "unmarried heterosexual who has sex with many different partners" (48 to 21 percent); a heterosexual who has divorced more than twice (37 to 26 percent); a "heterosexual who suddenly decides to get married in Las Vegas, but has the marriage annulled one week later" (48 to 24 percent).

Newsweek's revealing snapshot comes as gay leaders express concern that President-elect Barack Obama is getting off to a shaky start on gay issues.

Among positives: He invited a gay band to march in the inaugural parade and banned anti-gay or anti-transgender discrimination for appointment-level jobs.

But Obama missed a timely opportunity to appoint an openly gay person to his Cabinet. And he picked pastor Rick Warren -- who lent his celebrity to help strip away gay couples' right to marry in California -- to deliver his inaugural invocation.

Fresh starts are opportunities for big change. And on basic gay issues, Americans are ready.

Reach Deb Price at (202) 662-8736 and dprice@detnews.com.

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Naughtiest newsmakers of ’08

2009-01-02T08:21:00.001-08:00

10 headline grabbing Hub media misfits

By Jessica Heslam / MediaBiz

Thursday, January 1, 2009 - Updated 1d 12h ago

It was the year of media-behaving-badly in Boston.

Here’s the top 10 local media scandals of 2008 that kept MediaBiz very busy:

1. Randi Goldklank. The ex-Channel 7 general manager was arrested in April after she threw back “three dozen” drinks, caused a ruckus on a plane and assaulted state police troopers at Logan Airport.

“Do you know who the (expletive) I am?” she screamed, cementing one of the most memorable lines of 2008.

2. Julie Donaldson. The hard-partying ways and sexual exploits of the former Channel 7 sports reporter came out during the domestic violence case against her former beau and professional slamball player Ivan Latimore.

While domestic violence is a horrible crime, the number of cocktails the former beauty queen downed in the hours before the June assault left us dizzy.

3. Reese Hopkins. The former WRKO-AM (680) midday host was charged with raping an 11-year-old New York girl. His arrest came just days after he was canned during a round of budget cuts in October. Hopkins remains behind bars on Riker’s Island in New York.

4. Bob Gamere. The former sports anchor and “Candle Pins for Cash” host was busted for possessing kiddie porn in October.

5. John DePetro. The ex-WRKO blabber blamed his own wife for a cheating scandal that boosted his show’s ratings on WPRO-AM in Rhode Island.

6. Tania deLuzuriaga. The newspaper scribe quit her job at the Boston Globe after the steamy e-mails she swapped with a Miami school official surfaced. The pair allegedly had an affair while deLuzuriaga was covering education at the Miami Herald.

7. The Gloucester teen pregnancy pact. Time magazine’s June report on the alleged pact sent the local and national media into a frenzy. Reporters from around the world converged on the seaside community, but whether a pact even existed is unclear.

8. Barry Nolan. CN8 fired the veteran TV journalist for protesting a decision by the Boston Chapter of the National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences to honor FOX News host Bill O’Reilly. Nolan is now suing his former employer.

9. Jim Braude. The WTKK-FM (96.9) yakker almost caused an “international incident” when he nearly drove into British prime minister Gordon Brown’s police escort in Boston last April. Braude took his case before a judge and was ordered to pay a $20 fine.

10. WEEI-AM (850) sports flash guy Robert Finnerty. Finnerty was supposed to be the designated driver when he was charged with hitting and killing a Cambridge teen on Soldier’s Field Road in November.

It was also the year of major staff cuts at Hub media outlets.

The latest layoffs hit WBZ-AM (1030) this week. MediaBiz has learned that ’BZ has let go overnight talk show host Steve LeVeille, sports anchor Tom Cuddy and longtime weekend talk host Lovell Dyett.

This will come as no surprise but WRKO-AM (680) is finally getting morning-drive yakker Tom Finneran a permanent co-host. Todd Feinburg assumes the role Monday.

Finneran’s show is also losing a half hour and starting earlier. It will air from 5:30 a.m. to 9 a.m. instead of 6 a.m. to 10 a.m.

While ’RKO touted Finneran’s ratings among older listeners yesterday, his show has tanked among the important 25- to 54-year-old audience.

Since his 2007 debut, Finneran’s show has floundered in 16th, 15th, 14th and even 18th place in that demographic.

But hey, there’s always 2009.

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Woman Launches Web Site To Find Husband in "52 Weeks"

2009-01-02T07:35:00.001-08:00

NBCNewYork.com

A New Jersey woman launched a Web site Thursday, the first day of 2009, with the ambitious goal of tracking down her soulmate by 2010, the Daily News reports.

Neenah Pickett tells the paper she dreamed up 52Weeks2FindHim.com while working with a company on a social networking and multimedia site two years ago.

The 42-year-old media consultant from Somerset, N.J., said "In 52 weeks, I hope to find him. I don't plan to walk down the aisle, but I want to meet him," she said. "Come New Year's Eve next year, I hope we'll be together."

Pickett created the site with her friends' and family's blessings. It features a daily blog, videos of Pickett describing herself, testimonials from her closest friends - and, of course, a way for men to submit themselves for consideration, the News said.

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Scientists working on "sex chip"

2009-01-02T07:09:00.001-08:00

January 1, 2009 | By Susan Wilson

Imagine being able to turn your sex drive on and off. Scientists are working on just such a possibility. Not only may you be able to turn on or off your sex drive but other brain functions may be alterable as well.

The Telegraph reported that a sex chip has actually been developed and was used successfully. The chip was so successful that the female recipient of the sex chip, went from lack of interest to a very active sex drive. Her sex drive was increased to the point she decided to have the chip removed. Can you be too successful?

Essentially electrodes are implanted in the orbitalfrontal cortex. The pleasure center of the brain associated with pleasure from eating and sex. Before you decide to run out and have the chip implanted…in your spouse, you need to know

that the current technology, which requires surgery to connect a wire from a heart pacemaker into the brain, can cause bleeding and is “intrusive and crude”.

Sounds a bit like a bad lobotomy.

The technology has been used to treat Parkinson’s Disease and in the future this technology could be used to treat a wide variety of disorders. Within 10 year it is expected that the technology will be more subtle and give the implantee more control. For instance, deep brain stimulation would be possible in more areas of the brain with the ability to turn the chip on and off and even control the power of the stimulation.

Unlike Viagra or Cialis or any of the other “male enhancement” drugs that have hit the market in the past several years, the sex chip is not yet ready for mass marketing and implantation.

However a version of the sex chip is under development by a North Carolina doctor. Rather than stimulating the brain, the doctor is working on stimulating the spinal cord to spark pleasure in women.

Again, neither of these technologies is ready for prime time yet although these electronic therapies are under development and may actually be available within the next decade.

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Magazine: Americans to Have More Sex, Use Fewer Antidepressants in 2009

2009-01-02T07:05:00.001-08:00

FOXNEWS.COM HOME > HEALTH

Friday, January 02, 2009

If were depressed in 2008, here's some good news — we're all going to be having more sex in 2009, according to one magazine.

The reason is that women's growing economic power around the world will give them more choices, and one of those choices, apparently, will be to have more sex.

This prediction and more comes from The Futurist magazine, which compiles the forecasts and predictions of assorted visionaries each year.

The publication, which describes itself as a magazine of forecasts, trends, and ideas about the future, recently released its Outlook for 2009 and Beyond.

The issue also predicts that "Americans may turn away from antidepressants."

According to the anthropologist who made this call, the millions of antidepressant prescriptions Americans take "kill the sex drive" but many may quit taking them, giving another boost to sexual activity in the new year.

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Calkins: Transgender golfer is women's world long-drive champ

2009-01-02T06:58:00.001-08:00

10:39 PM PST on Wednesday, December 31, 2008

By MATT CALKINS
The Press-Enterprise

PALM SPRINGS - The gun was loaded. The note was written. The table was set for the Riverside man to end his 50-year life.

All that stopped him from going through with it was his desire for Lana to live.

Lana, by the way, was not a family member. She wasn't a friend or colleague, either. In fact, Lana didn't even have so much as a birth certificate.

Special to The Press-Enterprise

Lana Lawless, a transgender golfer who resides in Palm Springs, is the women's world long-drive champ.

But after a legal name change, a year of therapy and a sex-change operation, Lana Lawless is now as healthy, vivacious and ... alive as a woman can be.

"Once I started the process, I felt free," said Lawless, a 55-year-old post-op transgender who won't reveal her former identity because "that person no longer exists."

"I love life now. It's different, but it's good."

One thing that's not different, however, is the hostility she has toward golf balls when wielding a driver.

In her previous life, Lawless sought refuge on the links when overwhelmed by her gender-identity struggles, cultivating a plus-1 handicap while earning scholarship offers. In her new life, she's two months removed from winning the women's World Long Drive Championship in Mesquite, Nev.

Yes, Lawless can blast a Titleist upward of 335 yards. On a given par 4, she may just be putting for eagle.

But getting the general public to see her title as legitimate? Now that's a long shot.

When her story gained national attention on Fox Sports last week, 80 percent of the readers felt that her competing in the women's division was unfair despite it being within the rules. And while there were people praising her courage and sympathizing with her plight, Fox's Web site was also littered with comments like "Thank God he did not have any children," "What a messed up world it is," and "I wonder if it carries a purse or hand bag."

The words cut like an open-faced tee shot.

"Maybe I was naïve and stupid," Lawless said. "I didn't think it was going to be this vicious."

Perhaps the sneers reminded Lawless of her youth, when her persona prompted both verbal and physical abuse from peers. Tired of the bruises to her flesh and ego, Lawless created a character that seemed to be the ultimate ode to testosterone.

She enlisted in the military. She worked on the SWAT team and was a cop on the gang unit in Rialto.

Her in-the-line-of-fire duties were self-described as "the police stuff you see in the movies." But as long as she was living as a man, Lawless just couldn't picture that Hollywood ending.

"I was hiding in plain sight," she said.

Hardly able to take it anymore, Lawless visited a Los Angeles transsexual night club in 2003 and felt accepted as her true self for the first time.

Not long after, she called her mother in hysterics and confessed her lifelong desire to be a woman. Mom was a bit taken aback at first, but now she can't stop talking about "my daughter."

As for Lawless' friends from the police force? You can count the number of supporters on zero hands.

Her bountiful country club cohorts? Now few and far between.

Not that golf was the predominant thing on Lawless' mind, seeing as how she was going through a complete gender transformation.

"I look like Vanna White," said Lawless, who moved to Palm Springs in the spring after residing in Riverside for 24 years. "But I sound like Barry White."

After spending a couple of years away from her favorite sport, Lawless clicked on ESPN's broadcast of the Long Drive competition in 2006 and rekindled her fire for the fairways.

She began working with instructor Les Taylor in hopes of retooling a swing to accommodate her newfound ... undulations.

In 2007, she finished third in the world.

This year, Lawless was flawless, pounding a drive 254 yards into a heavy headwind to win the trophy and $12,500.

"She just outworked everybody," Taylor said.

Still, people ask: Is that fair? Does her former self give her an inherent advantage? How many 55-year-old women can hit a ball that far?

Competitors had her back. Phillis Meti, the 2006 world champ, said she had no problem with her friend's sex at birth because "she's still beatable."

Added the 5-foot-11, 187-pound Lawless, whose muscle mass atrophied due to the lowered testosterone: "If it's all about size, how does the 5-foot-10, 165-pound Jamie Sadlowski win the men's title?"

That said, do those questioning Lawless' legitimacy have reasonable arguments? Sure. But here's the thing:

Only one in 100 people who walk into therapy with the eventual goal of changing their sex actually see it to the end. Lawless did it, and made history by becoming the first post-op transgender to compete in a professional women's golf event in the U.S.

So if we're just talking about this one event, considering what Lawless has been through and how she stepped into her new life with a boldness that few of us know, here's one more question for all those wondering if what she did was fair:

Does it really matter?

Reach Matt Calkins at 951-368-9649 or mcalkins@PE.com

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Happy New Year! A Day in the Life of a Transsexual

2009-01-02T06:56:00.001-08:00

I am glad to say my life is no longer in limbo. I have a job starting on the 5th and am very excited. The better news is that its paying a lot more than my last job was. I am very excited to get another job and was a little concerned with the economy the way it is. Its been a very hard couple of months without a job but somehow we managed just fine. I have a lot of friends to thank for that trick and owe some people now. I am very grateful that I was able to get help and we had a great Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. Of course I was not able to get everything I wanted for the children for Christmas but that is ok. We all have more than enough already. When I think back to how I grew up and how much we have now its almost sick. I mean really growing up we didn’t have a lot of things and didn’t need them. Now it seems everyone has to have a cell phone, at least one computer, a color tv that’s high definition, microwave, stereo and so many other things… I am almost sad to say we have 5 computers in our house among a bunch of other junk that’s really pointless to have. All these distractions really add up for everyone. I think that its no wonder relationships on a whole break down we have too many distractions. Even friendships are harder than ever to make and keep now. People are too busy living or trying to pay off credit card debt and watching there hdtv or on a computer online. So now we blog to have a personal connection with people. I guess in a way though that can be good after all if it was not for computers and blogs no one would realize they are perfectly normal being transgendered… Well maybe that is an overstatement but its good to know there are others like you.

Its really my goal this year to work more diligently at what ever I do and be more people oriented. Its not that I am not people oriented its that sometimes we get too excited about what we are doing and don’t let others have the show. I am notorious for that and really that is a bad trait for relationships. Its not so much a male or female thing though my best friend in college was that way she stole the show every time. I think maybe its more of a only child thing. Then again maybe its more something else. I would also really like to talk with my parents for once openly about all of this. Its so hard for me now because I have this feeling they would never accept me or this. The one time they knew I was taking hormones my father said he would disown me. I kind of joked and told a friend how can he disown something he never owned. Its such a egotistical thing to say for anyone. You either love someone or you don’t you either accept them completely or not. There is no neutral grounds or its not love in my mind. So it was hard to hear but expected.

I always felt that way growing up like if I didn’t stay in this line I was not loved… that was always difficult and I felt I never could be in that line. When I was in my teenage years I tried to blur that line all over the place and found it was maybe just a bad way to think. My parents still loved me no matter what but there was always this big secret looming in the back of my mind. I thought maybe I could wait till my parents passed on and then do this but I can’t I can’t keep waiting. I just reached that point and now I am so happy when I am out. I know the first time I went out I almost cried taking off the wig and scrubbing off the makeup. Its not that the experience was great because it was actually very scary… It was that I was finally out of the house as me as woman exploring the world. It was wondrous and I found this empowering that I could actually pull it off. I don’t mean passing but that I could pull off going out as a woman. To be free and let out all that inner energy, be as female as I wanted without someone thinking omg what a gay person. The more I am out the more I realize this is what I want. This is what I should have been and yet I am still scared for that one reason of acceptance from the people that matter most. I think that’s why a lot of transgendered people stay in the closet, or end up killing themselves. They don’t want to disappoint anyone or have that dishonor on there families… I think its very sad we live in a world so ruled by fear that we can’t reach out to people, or just be our self. So if I had one wish it would be world peace. See I am practicing my speech for a model award ;-). I just went the long way around to define what world peace would really mean. To me its just that the walls that we put up for no real reason should come down. There is no reason we can’t all be our self if we learn to expand those boundaries of our own acceptance and embrace our differences as a society. Then maybe we will get out from behind our little screens, tv’s or where ever we escape from reality and learn to communicate. The world would be a better place for it… but first I need to go talk to my parents.

http://digitaltrans2.wordpress.com/2009/01/01/happy-new-year/

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My Christmas at an LGBT Homeless Youth Shelter

2009-01-02T06:53:00.001-08:00

January 1, 2009

Posted by charlievazquez under Uncategorized | Tags: "LGBT youth" "Charlie Vazquez" Christmas "Mona Rae Mason" |

I’ll start off by wishing you a great 2009! Most of us won’t miss 2008, I know.

I’m not a stranger to dire circumstances. In fact, I consider my life lucky and charmed, since there was always someone I knew confronting more severe challenges, such as my recently-departed father, who struggled with chronic drug-addiction for most of his life. My second boyfriend, an HIV+ artist and drug addict, hung himself. I saw a man get stabbed in Times Square when I was nine, have been shot at by a pistol-wielding meth addict in Portland, Oregon, and have seen a man plummet to his death from a bridge. I suppose that my neutral perspective on such tragedies stems from my having grown up in the disinvested Bronx neighborhoods of the bleak 1970s and desperate 1980s. Still, I’m an optimist.

My friend Mona Rae Mason of the Transgender Project (a New York City-based transgender study conducted by National Development and Research Institutes) volunteered me this past fall to help with the serving of a traditional Christmas dinner at Sylvia’s Place. Sylvia’s Place is a street-level recreation room-turned-LGBT homeless youth shelter on West 36th Street, beneath the Metropolitan Community Church, which serves the LGBT Christian community. I didn’t blink an eye and agreed to help. Other friends also volunteered and even my mother applauded the humanitarian gesture, accepting my absence on Christmas night for such a touching cause.

As I ascended the subway stairs onto Herald Square, I was transported to the magical Christmases of my childhood. I remembered how my family stood in impossibly long lines at Macy’s, so that my sister and I could have our pictures taken with Santa Claus (as hysterically recanted from the perspective of an elf by David Sedaris, in Holidays on Ice). Passing Macy’s, I saw the futuristic lights of Times Square glowing and flashing, further up 7th Avenue. Thirty-fourth Street was quiet and The Empire State Building was lit with blue, red and green lights, like a giant toy.

There were a few youngsters outside when I arrived at the shelter. One stylish girl wished me Merry Christmas, as I opened the heavy metal door and made my way in. I was riveted. There were about twenty-five youths in the scantily furnished room. Most were African American, some Latino. Some were lost in deep contemplation, others despaired. A couple argued with each other. I noticed a few kids sleeping on the floor, on yoga mats. Others were crashed on a countertop. A few had donated laptops and kept busy playing games and writing emails. One girl braided the hair of a young Latina who was eight-and-a-half months pregnant. Another jubilant boy danced on rollerblades. More than a few of the youngsters broke out into fevered, improvised dance, skipping from Beyoncé to hardcore rap. It was reminiscent of the raw tribal energy captured in Jennie Livingston’s now-classic 1990 ballroom culture documentary, Paris is Burning.

There was a noticeable chasm dividing the mostly distanced youngsters (who were never rude, but had mastered neutrality) from the “tribal elders”. The dozen-plus elders in attendance included the aforementioned Mona Mason of the Transgender Project, an NYPD Community Affairs liaison (who drove in from Pennsylvania) and Nancy Lamar of Crossdressers International. The East of Eden restaurant donated food and my partner, John Williams, coordinated the majority of the cooking with his brother. The rest of us washed dishes, served food and mingled with the more receptive youths. The social ice was shattered when drag queen comedienne Hedda Lettuce arrived in her trademark green and blond wig, her funny charisma warming the room over instantly.

It was hard not to wonder about the circumstances that had forced these kids to seek shelter there. Each had his or her own story. Most had been expelled from their homes for being queer or ran away due to abuse. They have to sign in by ten every night and the single-room shelter has a forty-person capacity. They’re provided with donated, used clothes, a washer/dryer setup, canned/dry foods, and company. With few work options in the present economy, many are forced to hustle. I spoke to several of them about their dreams and aspirations. Three boys were organizing an open mike talent show. Another serpentine boy and a dreadlocked girl named Star were natural, agile dancers. Others expressed interest in social work, fashion design, and makeup and hair artistry.

Homophobia, the most tragic of our many American traditions, is fueled by religious dogma and ill-educated hysteria. It inspires violence against gentle people. It devalues those who have individuated spiritual compositions; those who do not comply with either extreme of the antiquated, anal-retentive, masculine/feminine polarity model. Queer people are different from the norm and it is estimated that there are thousands of similar homeless queer youngsters living on the streets of New York City alone. What was once revered as a shamanistic class of individuals, in societies the world over, has been stripped of its spiritual value and condemned by the very institutions that the LGBT community is seeking marriage visibility from. The current and bigoted pope recently said that relations beyond the heterosexual ‘norm’ are “the destruction of God’s work”. It’s obvious that the pope hasn’t read Father Donald Cozzens’ book The Changing Face of the Priesthood, published in 2000. Cozzens, a psychologist and Catholic seminary president, suggests that up to 50% of the Catholic priests he’d encountered had homosexual orientations. Other estimates range from 10%-60%.

As gay marriage dominates LGBT politics, more pressing issues get kicked into the ditch. I agree that same-sex couples should have the right to marry, period. I know many such couples who married when they could and applauded them. But seeking acceptance from religious institutions that tortured us and burned us at the stake is horrifying to me. As a queer person, it’s even insulting. Churches and fevered religious leaders are the sources of the fear and hatred that lands beautiful kids, such as the kids at Sylvia’s Place, onto the streets of New York City and elsewhere, just for being gay, transgendered or lesbian.

Many LGBT folk have become so impassioned by bourgeois equality values that they’ve turned their backs on the needy in their own “community”. An annual pride parade, activists, public services, DVD stores, websites and bars do not comprise a community. AIDS claimed untold numbers of mentors, teachers, artists and role models, and current generations need to assume these roles. Sure some mentors exist, but more are needed. The fight for queer equality, which is broader than “gay equality”, needs to redefine itself, if the LGBT “community” expects to change the way in which it’s perceived by others. Gay marriage only represents the ‘L’ and ‘G’ of LGBT. Gay, privileged exclusivity isn’t enough, as many of us don’t care about Queer as Folk or Britney Spears—such as those amazing kids who inspired me this past Christmas. They can always use money donations, clothes, bottled water, dry/canned foods, and oh yeah, mentors.

Homeless Youth Services
c/o MCCNY
446 W. 36th St.
New York, NY 10018
http://www.homelessyouthservices.org/

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Gay Couple Dreams Of Adopting Daughters

2009-01-02T06:45:00.001-08:00

News Channel 8 photo by JOHN WINTERROWD

Four years ago, a Pinellas County judge ruled that the two sisters could live indefinitely with Curtis Watson and Scott Elsass.

By SHERRI ACKERMAN | The Tampa Tribune

Published: January 1, 2009

SEMINOLE - It lingers in the back of their minds while they eat supper together, get ready for school or sing at church.

Even though a court order gives Curtis Watson the right to act as his daughters' father, the mental health counselor is not legally their parent.

Neither is his life partner. They can't be because they're gay.

Florida law doesn't allow homosexuals to adopt children, but a Miami judge recently overrode the ban, approving the adoptions of two brothers by their gay foster parent.

The state plans to appeal the ruling, meaning the case could lead to a Supreme Court decision on whether Florida's 31-year-old prohibition should remain.

"My job is to uphold the statute," says George Sheldon, secretary of the Department of Children & Families, which oversees foster care and adoptions in Florida. "But regardless as to how anyone feels about this issue, it really ought to be resolved. And that can only happen in a higher court."

That could take months, if not years. Meanwhile, Watson and his family dare to dream.

"We're being parents, doing what we need to do," Watson says of the care he and his partner of 12 years provide for the 10- and 11-year-old sisters.

Adopting the former foster children would ensure them a permanent family and give them something more.

"I want to make sure they know they are special," Watson says.

The sisters already seem to know that.

Four years after a judge's order allowed them to live with the two men indefinitely, the girls are experts at explaining their situation.

"We're special because we have two dads," says the eldest, a precocious fifth-grader who reluctantly allows little sister to interrupt.

"Dad and Daddy," the dark-haired sister chirps. "Daddy is the one with hair."

That's Watson, a muscular 44-year-old whose gentle demeanor suits his role as counselor to troubled teens and children. Dad is Scott Elsass, a 49-year-old health care director who is all business until you ask him about his girls.

The couple knew early on they wanted children. Elsass, who has a 20-year-old biological son, didn't anticipate any barriers. Watson longed for the chance.

When they moved to Florida, they learned adoption would never be an option as long as they lived here. The Sunshine State is the only one in the nation that explicitly excludes gay men and women from adopting.

Utah and Arkansas allow only married couples to adopt children in state custody, and the states don't recognize gay marriages. Mississippi bans adoptions by couples of the same gender, but not specifically by gay individuals.

A Role As Foster Parents

Gays can become foster parents in Florida, providing temporary shelter — and love — to abused and neglected children in state custody. Watson and Elsass quickly signed up. They cared for three teenagers first.

"We were adamant about taking children nobody else wanted," Elsass says.

Then the couple got the younger sister, a 4-year-old with behavioral issues who had been targeted for abuse in her family. By the time she landed in the men's care, she had been in 26 other homes.

The older sister came later, after visiting her sibling at the men's home. She badly wanted to live with them, Elsass says. She shared with them a dream she had: She was trapped in a fire and the two men rescued her.

Pinellas County Circuit Judge Irene Sullivan was asked to determine whether the girls should remain with the men, not whether the state discriminated against them because they are gay.

After telling DCF it owed the men a debt of gratitude for the way they cared for the girls, Sullivan granted the couple long-term custody of the sisters in March 2004. At the time, it was the closest a gay couple could come to adopting in Florida.

Agency Was Criticized

DCF at first supported the move, but then motioned to reopen the case after receiving criticism it hadn't searched hard enough to find the girls an adoptive family. Officials also said Elsass hadn't completed mandatory training, although he says he did.

Six months later, the men agreed to settle for only Watson as the long-term guardian. It was the quickest solution to ensuring the girls stayed put, he says.

The pair tried through Watson's will to ensure the girls remain with Elsass if something happens to Watson. Because the state does not recognize the men as parents, though, there are no guarantees.

And no perks. Like the $417 monthly stipend available to parents who adopt a child in state custody. And the four-year college scholarships given those children.

Watson and Elsass say they can afford to provide everything for their daughters, but what if they couldn't?

"The ban is ridiculous," says St. Petersburg attorney Deborah Eldridge, who represented the couple. "It serves no purpose. The best interest of the child should be the Legislature's and court's concern."

Eldridge is anxiously watching the precedent-setting case in Miami, where circuit Judge Cindy Lederman called the ban unconstitutional and cited new studies showing same-sex couples are equally qualified as traditional couples to be parents.

Her finding came two months after a Monroe County circuit judge issued the same ruling. In that case, the adoptive father already had status as a long-term guardian. DCF does not plan to fight that adoption because it is not a party in the lawsuit, says Sheldon, the DCF secretary.

None of that matters to the two sisters in Seminole. They like the idea of having their fathers' last names, but, really, Watson and Elsass are their parents.

"Family is who loves you," Elsass says.

The girls shop for new dresses and shoes with Daddy, and go to birthday parties and horseback-riding lessons with Dad. They have chores such as laundry and dish-washing, and get help with homework.

The four eat out every Friday. Saturday is movie night, when they stay in and order pizza. Each Sunday, the family goes to church and hosts a huge dinner with friends who have morphed into favorite aunts and uncles.

Aunt Fuzz has agreed to take one of the sisters for a few weeks each summer — an opportunity for questions they might feel more comfortable asking a woman. The girls, though, say they can talk to their fathers about anything.

Except, maybe, for boys.

"Ick!" the older one says and rolls her eyes.

When asked what she will tell her own children someday about having two granddads, she pauses thoughtfully.

"Doesn't everyone have two grandfathers?"

Reporter Sherri Ackerman can be reached at (813) 259-7144.

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Unleash your inner sex goddess

2009-01-02T06:37:00.001-08:00

Being a sex goddess is hard work…and not only is it constant work, it takes time, it takes planning and determination. When's the last time you took the time to unleash the sex goddess trapped in you. Took a sensuous shower, pampered yourself with barely there lingerie, and seduced a man with every trick in the book…so much so that you just about had him worshipping the very ground that you glided on!

Take charge….Show off your body – show off how sexual you are! Unleash the sex goddess in you. Instead of him being the master player, take over the baton and show him how to orchestra every move…isn't that what Kamasutra is all about?

1. You Play Games

Who says games are for children? Well, they aren't. Sex is supposed to be a whole lot of fun. The more you are in a mood to play, the higher you'll be rated. Role playing, fantasies, blindfolding, bondage…from drab to going kinky, then you can be assured, you are one girl that's on your partner's mind all the while.

2. You Make the First Move as Often as Possible

A guy's constant woe…"She never takes the initiative! So give your partner a zing by taking the initiative. Get bold and naughty, sexy and subtle in the same breath and your partner will be begging for more! And the woman on top – the power position always does the trick. Ask a man on the power play and he gives his thumbs up to the woman on top!

3. Your Foreplay Lasts Twice as Long as Intercourse

It's not only women who enjoy the foreplay, but men too get off on foreplay. The little feathery kisses and touches, a nail trailing down their wrist, a nibble on their pulse…is enough to drive him out of his sense. Play it cool and play it to the hilt. I say, hold the reins and play him till he worships you as his own goddess.

4. No hands massage

Use your body…to drive him crazy. Work your magic on him without using your hands. For him to worship you, make the first move. Teach him what a true massage is – with the tip of your tongue to the gentle swell of your hip! It's all about knowing your sexual appeal!

5. Read my lips

According to Oriental erotic texts, a woman's upper lip is directly connected to her clitoris. During self-pleasure, or while receiving oral from your lover, bite your upper lip (or run your fingernails over it) to increase sensation and make your orgasm more powerful.

6. You'll try everything once

If you haven't experimented with pervy or kinky stuff, yet are game for it, then you get our thumbs up on this one. You should try everything (within reason) once. He wants you to dress like Fearless Nadia and talk dirty, then go ahead. You just may enjoy the power play role.

7. You own a vibrator

Men actually feel threatened by women who use sex toys. but the truth is, women who own one have higher libidos and generally want more sex. As a saying goes, "A clever girl won't demote her toys to the back of a drawer when her lover is around, but rather she'll put on a performance for him - and even use them on him."

8. You've said No to your bed

You've abandoned your bed and gone wild in the beach, in the car, on the balcony when the neighbors are out (or in)...We know for a fact that semipublic sex is up there in the top five fantasies for men, the top 10 for women.

9. Please yourself

Just because your lover is around that does not mean that you let him do all the work. Pleasuring yourself in front of a lover makes you feel hot and leaves him in a state of near frenzy. And if you're embarrassed, put on a blindfold. It's kinky and almost private and just up's your sex goddess quotient. Ask a man and he would put that in his top 5 sexual fantasies.

10. Go wild and wanton with your clothes

Slipping into a flannel nightgown does not really up the sex quotient. Of course, you could look sexy in a potato sack, but if you have the clothes to match your mood, you have hit on a jackpot. Fishnet stockings, corset in satin and peek a boo lingerie with a sexy spray on your pulse points would just about have your man on his feet begging for more.

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Putting the bliss back in wedded

2009-01-02T06:32:00.001-08:00

Putting the bliss back in wedded Boston Globe WESTBOROUGH - It's time to stay home and love the one you're with, according to a pair of local entrepreneurs. Erica Noonan January 1, 2009 -->

Products, workshops give couples a nudge toward making time for intimacy

A local couple's gift bags are aimed at reviving romance for married couples. (Matthew J. Lee/Globe Staff)

By Erica Noonan Globe Staff / January 1, 2009

WESTBOROUGH - It's time to stay home and love the one you're with, according to a pair of local entrepreneurs.

Jennifer and John O'Connell have full-time jobs in Boston, but were inspired to create a business aimed at couples like them - happily married for many years, yet busy and stressed raising young children in the suburbs.

They recently launched Intimate Surprises from Westborough, selling mail-order gift bags with a monthly theme designed to help couples rediscover their spark.

"You finally get a little time together and you go out to dinner and you spend a lot of money and spend the whole time talking about the kids anyway," said Jennifer O'Connell. "We wanted something people could use together in private, have fun and feel closer to each other. It's an excuse and an opportunity to spend time together and be intimate."

The O'Connells aren't the only ones who see a burgeoning market in marriage these days. Bestsellers, movies, even ministers are touting wedded intimacy.

Cambridge therapists Antra and Richard Borofsky suspect it may be the tanking economy that is driving more suburban couples to their "Being Together" and "Intimacy as a Spiritual Path" workshops. The duo said they have seen an uptick in attendance at the weekend events over the past six months.

"I think couples are starting to reinvest in their relationships. In a crisis, what people value is love," said Richard Borofsky, who with his wife runs the Center for the Study of Relationships and teaches workshops to about 200 couples annually at churches and synagogues, including one in November at Karem Shalom in Concord.

"People are discovering more and more that the material things don't bring happiness and people have to go deeper. That means more attention on what does it take to create an authentic relationship or deepen the quality of intimacy in the one they have," he said.

The rest of the country seems to be rediscovering sex and marriage as well. Two hit books, Doug Brown's "Just Do It" and Charla Muller's "365 Nights," were released last year by long-married writers and parents of small children who embarked on a regime of daily sex with their spouses.

On the big screen, "Fireproof," starring Kirk Cameron and based on a Christian pro-marriage bestseller, "The Love Dare," is a hit, earning more than $30 million since its release last fall, according to distributor Sony Pictures.

In November, conservative pastor Ed Young of the Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas, made national headlines when he told the 20,000 members of his flock to embark on a seven-day "sexperiment" of daily intimacy sessions with their spouses. (Single church members were urged by Young to instead "eat more chocolate cake.")

Brown, author of "Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses)," said he and his wife, Annie, started their three-month marathon on a lark. But the experiment became a hit book. "Just Do It" is scheduled to be published in five languages, and the Browns were invited on NBC's "Today" show to discuss how it had improved their marriage.

The Browns were like many couples, making time for sex only a few times a month and "wondering why we didn't do it more," Brown, a reporter for the Denver Post, said in a telephone interview.

"The experiment forced us to put sex in the center of our relationship," he said. "Now, two years later, we don't do it every day, but the quantity and quality are upped and we are closer."

The O'Connells say the social trend is less about "the act" than about celebrating sex between committed partners as a way to bolster intimacy and spiritual connection. For that reason, their website (www.intimatesurprises.com) is careful to avoid the term "sex toys," said John O'Connell, who works full time for a Boston financial consulting firm.

"We don't want to come up in that kind of Google search. It's about the experience, not the gadgets," he said.

The gift bags, which cost about $45 per month, plus shipping, are designed for couples to open and use together, and arrive complete with ribbons, confetti packing material, and, if desired, a personal love note from the sender.

The idea seems to be catching on. Since the products started shipping three months ago with minimal advertising, Intimate Surprises has had more than 120 subscribers across the country and overseas, including a military couple serving together in Iraq, the O'Connells said.

The Borofskys said they hope to see public interest in fostering intimacy in marriage continue to flourish. At one recent workshop led by the therapists, an emotionally estranged couple admitted they had opted for the $650 class as a last-ditch effort to help repair their relationship because it was more affordable than starting divorce proceedings.

It's impossible to know if they will stay together, but the couple did leave feeling more hopeful about their marriage, Richard Borofsky said.

"Everybody is talking so much about renewable energy and conservation these days," he said. "Love is the ultimate renewable resource."

Erica Noonan can be reached at enoonan@globe.com.

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Health makes headlines this year and next

2009-01-02T06:27:00.001-08:00

Dr. Tom Keenan, For the Calgary Herald

Published: Thursday, January 01, 2009

The year 2008 was kind to reporters who cover health and medicine stories. From deadly Listeria bacteria in our cold cuts to possibly dangerous bisphenol-A in our water bottles, we've had plenty of new things to write and worry about.

But this year also brought lots of good health news, especially to men. Examples abound from key areas like male fitness, diet and sexuality. - We learned that guy things like playing video games can actually be good for us. You had to stand in line to buy Nintendo's Wii Fit system. Sure, it's not going to turn you into Superman, but a lot of people are using it to track their physical condition and keep motivated. Now, an article in the December issue of Psychology and Aging shows possible mental benefits from gaming. A study of 40 adults in their 60s and 70s found those who played complex-strategy video games like Rise of Nations scored better on tests of memory and reasoning than those who didn't play. - The belt-tightening caused by economic hard times has caused many guys to replace their vending machine junk food with healthier snacks brought from home. As evidence, a list of "10 Healthy Foods Under $1" published on the WebMD website features apples, oranges, yogurt, lentils and canned beans, all at less than $1 per serving. Another list published on the Men's Health website extols the virtues of such male favourites as pork rinds, beef jerky and chocolate bars. While author Jeff Volek argues that these treats with a bad reputation "deserve an immediate pardon," dietary moderation is still a good idea. - On the sexual front, the popular success of the movie Milk, which chronicles the life of California's first openly gay elected official, is regarded by many as a sign that our society is becoming more accepting of what used to be called "alternative lifestyles." Sixty years ago, sex researcher Albert Kinsey proposed that people often move over a continuum of sexual preference in the course of a lifetime. In a recent article, Indiana University scientist Brian Dodge argues we should re-appreciate Kinsey's insights and that "people should not be pigeonholed into social categories, such as homosexual, heterosexual or even bisexual."

Looking ahead to the New Year, we can hope for all kinds of breakthroughs, from even better detection and treatment of prostate cancer to something that can keep young males from committing suicide. Though we know better than to hope for miracles, here are some men's health areas that you might hear about in 2009: - Obesity is a huge risk factor for everyone, and we seem to be passing the problem on to the next generation through bad diet and a sedentary lifestyle. Calgary-Lougheed MLA Dave Rodney's bill to give physically active Albertans a $500 tax credit, which squeaked through the Alberta legislature recently, is a step in the right direction. So is research at the Woolcock Institute of Medical Research in Sydney, Australia. Scientists there are trying testosterone therapy to break the vicious cycle of male obesity, sleep apnea and low testosterone levels. - While much has been written about cybersex hazards, such as sex addiction and damage to real-life relationships, so-called "teledildonic" technology is about to burst onto the market. These computer-controlled sex toys add a tactile dimension to long-distance loving. A patented device called "The Sinulator" promises "the most fun you can have when you are apart" and sports the slogan, "Do more than just watch." - Since heart disease is a major killer of men (and women) it's encouraging to know that even a little exercise is better than none. An article just published in the journal Circulation followed more than 21,000 male doctors in the U. S., and determined that breaking a sweat even one to three times a month was linked to an 18 per cent lower risk of heart failure. Working out five to seven times a week was even better, with a 36 per cent reduction.

Lest it seem that the future of Men's Health will just be about exercise and cybersex toys, it's important to note that many committed people are also trying to solve the really serious health problems of the developing world.

The Grand Challenges in Global Health project, funded to the tune of about half a billion dollars, has identified worthwhile goals such as devising new vaccines and methods to deliver them that do not require needles or refrigeration. They're even looking at ways to deal with the vexing problem of drug resistance, which limits the use of many good antibiotics.

While these challenges may seem far away to us in Canada, experts note that they have "the potential to greatly reduce the suffering and death that disproportionately affect the two billion poorest people on earth." That is a truly noble goal.

So, for 2009 you should act local, taking care of your own health as best you can, but also think global. And hey, those advances in developing countries may even come back to help us here at home. Heavy metal entertainer Alice Cooper admits that he's terrified of one aspect of a medical visit. "I'm frightened of needles. I can put my head in a guillotine and play with a snake. But no--no needles!"

Don't worry, Alice. Help is on the way.

Tom Keenan, I. S. P., IS an award wInnIng ScIence wrITer, ProfeSSIonal SPeaKer and ProfeSSor aT The UnIverSITy of calgary.

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Guide to Vibrating Cock Rings, Vibrators and Toys for Men

2009-01-02T06:14:00.001-08:00

Male vibrators and cock rings can't get better and simpler than the Nubby Vibrating Ring and Screaming O!

The simple design of these vibrating cock rings can make even the most uptight ones bellow in ecstasy once these male toys get to work on them. These male vibrator toys are designed undergraduate online course both partners in mind and are capable of providing them with the highest pleasure possible.This range of male toys is ideal for those situations where both partners are willing to experiment and get more creative in love making.

The Vibrating Cock Ring is worn on the base of the penis and has a clit stimulator for your extra pleasure. So these vibrating toys are not essentially male toys. They serve both men and women.

You, your lover and the Vibrating Cock Ring

Just seeing your lover hitting multiple orgasms will make you feel like a God and the constant vibrating buzz will make you reach unexplored levels of passion.

The intense vibrations from the Vibrating Cock Ring will surely rock you and leave you dazed. And yes, we wont be surprised if want more and expect more from the Vibrating Cock Ring. Furthermore undergraduate online course vibrating cock rings are wireless so you can wear them will absolute easy and comfort and seduce your lover as well as enjoy yourself with frolicking fun. Every nubile girl will love you wearing the Vibrating Cock Ring and will be willing to clamber to the heights of passion with you.

One more benefit of these vibrating cock rings is that they can be used whilst wearing a condom. The wireless nature of these vibrating cock rings will cause no complications when you wear a condom with them and will stop any other complications from arising.

Male toys are getting better and better day by day. And with these vibrating cock rings, one can not deny this fact; if you want male toys which can be used along with your partner, Vibrating Cock Ring is what will get you going.

The Screaming O

Disposable Vibrating Cock Ring is a revolutionary, patented sex aid that enhances the ability and intensity to achieve orgasms. The Screaming O is a disposable vibrating ring. This vibrating ring sex toy has been designed to provide the user(s) with maximum stimulation. Once correctly positioned at the base of the penis, it will give gentle erotic vibration to the male and direct dynamic online course programs to the clitoris during intercourse. The Screaming O™ vibrating cock ring is the state-of-the-art in vibrating rings with the longest battery life, enhanced vibrations, a soft strong and stretchy band and the only one with unique pleasure knobs to vibrate the penis. It’s for one time use only. The duration of intense vibrations is around 30 plus minutes.

Get these vibrating cock rings to set the motion rolling. Flatter your lover with your rock-hard, biggish member with the help of these vibrating cock rings. However, when using the vibrating online courses rings, don't let the situation go out of control. This cute and fun vibrating cock ring will truly liven up your erotic life!

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It's like Friends for lesbians

2009-01-01T18:52:00.001-08:00

TV / Exes and Ohs isn't aiming for that 'glitzy, glamour LA thing'

Shauna Lewis / Vancouver / Thursday, January 01, 2009

Relationship blunders, random sexual hook-ups, life transitions and the often-relentless search for Ms Right are themes both intricately and blatantly woven into the second season of Exes and Ohs, the newest lesbian television show to hit the market.

But if viewers are looking for similarities to the lesbian chic show The L-Word, they should look further, says Exes and Ohs' openly lesbian writer and star, Michelle Paradise.

"We're more of a comedy-drama and they're [The L-Word] more of a drama. It's different kinds of stories," says Paradise. "The similarity is that they're about lesbian characters —life and love and heartbreak and falling in love and getting dumped and getting married."

"If The L-Word is Dynasty, then this is Friends to lesbians," agrees Exes and Ohs producer Gigi Boyd.

Filmed in Vancouver this fall and set in Seattle, Exes and Ohs aims to portray lesbian life through the eyes and hearts of authentic women with real issues.

Paradise plays Jenn, a filmmaker searching for "the one" after a break up. Jenn's circle of friends includes Sam (Marnie Alton), who is always looking for the next hook-up (and has a thing for realtors), and Chris (Megan Cavanagh) and Kris (Angela Featherstone), the stable lesbian couple with issues of their own.

"My goal has always been that these are the kinds of characters that are grounded and real. They could be your best friend, they could be the girl at the coffee shop, or the person you hang out with, or your ex-girlfriend. [They are] very real and rounded and grounded and not the glitzy, glamour LA thing," says Paradise.

"I want these gals to be the kind of gals you know or meet. We don't want to feel like they've just stepped off a runway."

Non-glitzy they may indeed be, but absent is the blatantly butch character in the show.

Paradise disputes the absence of butch representation and says the character of Chris comes closest to filling those shoes for her. "No show will ever be able to hit every part of the spectrum and there will always be parts of the community that feel like they should be more represented," she admits. "It's my job and our job to bring as much diversity as we can into it within the world of the characters, but with only six or eight episodes there's only so much that we can bring in before we start to lose focus on the stories."

Megan Cavanagh, another openly lesbian actor who is probably best known for her role in the 1999 movie A League Of Their Own with Tom Hanks and Madonna, agrees that her character Chris is the only butch character on the show and says she would like to see more representation in the series.

"I really love butch women, that's who I'm attracted to," she reveals.

But Cavanagh also points out that in LA (where the show was conceived and piloted) the femme is predominant.

There are very few real butch representations on television today, Cavanagh says, and the ones that are butch are often transitioning. "Most women I know aren't transitioning and they fucking don't want to transition," she argues. "They love being butch!"

Butch demographics aside, Cavanagh hopes viewers gain an understanding that everyone has interesting scenarios that continuously play out in various stages of life —and that television's depiction of lesbians today has come a long way.

"Historically, lesbian films were always sort of soft porn. It really moves away from that in this show. [Exes and Ohs] is not about that at all," claims Cavanagh.

"What I would like lesbians to see is other lesbians living happily in average everyday lives. I think it's really important that we show positive images of lesbians on television," she adds.

"My primary goal is to treat these characters honestly —to give these characters rich and complicated lives," says Paradise. "If the audience can laugh and cry or laugh and feel or care all in one episode, then I feel like I've done my job."

Logo and Super Channels will begin airing the second season of Exes and Ohs this March. Showcase will air it next year.

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Thinking men like tits, brains and for women to stay in their place.

2009-01-01T09:43:00.001-08:00

from Sex toys are like prostitution? - Feministing by Samhita

I have written previously about top ten lists that measure beauty and brains and concluded that generally they are gender biased. Women's lists are always about how they look and men's lists (or pageants) are about what they do first and then how they look. When I wished upon the world to create a list that was about women taking into consideration their brains, occupations and looks this is about as far from what I could have conceived of. Self proclaimed hiphop writer hater Touré has created what he believes is the thinking man's list of sex symbols.

He starts,

A man has two minds. The lower mind is a brainless whore excited by any woman with breasts, curves, and a thong. The upper mind, which works with actual grey matter, is more persnickety. The upper mind, when employed, is moved by intelligence, success, power, self-confidence, a smart sense of humor, and, of course, not having a castrating nature.

What counts as having a castrating nature? If you get too 'ballsy' do you actually want to be a man so bad that you will (figuratively) castrate him and claim your own masculinity? I am going to assume he means feminists are castrating. I think this above description is more disparaging to men than anything else. Thank you for feeding into every myth about male sexuality and their inability to make a connection between what happens between their legs and between their ears.

But the real gems are in the descriptions of the pictures of the women he chose and why he chose the "smart babes" that he did. None will really surprise you, but note that they are all women that don't really disrupt normative ideas of beauty or act outside of patriarchy and for Touré, their intelligence exists to feed his own male ego since he has to describe repeatedly why their smarts don't threaten his own. I think some of these women would resent being on this list.

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New Products

2009-01-01T09:40:00.001-08:00

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Adam Bouska

2008-05-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

This is a great photo gallery of both men and women. Our staff member Shelly from 69 Mainstreet selected this site. Thanks Shelly.

If you find any sites that you believe have great pictures, please send them to us. You can email rae@69mainstreet.com or you can just post the links here.

Love to see what else is out there.

The Very Thought of Him

2008-05-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

Our staff member Derk, from 69 Mainstreet has selected GayTwoGether as our next pick of beautiful photographs.

Yes, it does seem like the beautiful men are gay and this site is no except of absolutely beautiful, sexy gay men.

Enjoy

GAYTWOGETHER, is a unique gay site where you'll find relevant news, interesting articles, great pictures and cool stuff for and about gay relationships. Whether you’re "living together" or "dating", "not quite sure yet" or "in a long term relationship", it's all about romance, love and being GAYTWOGETHER.

Dlyan Rosser - The Male Form

2008-05-03T06:15:00.000-07:00

The staff at 69 Mainstreet researches for beautiful photographs or digital art on the web. We have found Dylan Rosser photographer to be our best pick for March 2008. Take a look at his site, you will enjoy it, trust me. Let us know what you think of our pick.

The Male Forum

http://www.themaleform.co.uk/main.html

69 Mainstreet

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Mocktails - The best alcohol-free cocktails- Pocket Cocktails: for iPhone/iPod Touch Click > www.pocketcocktails.com

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