Q: I was wondering if you could go into the mechanics of shower sex in a college dorm… I’m sure it happens, but I was wondering, are there any disciplinary or even legal risks involved of bringing the opposite sex into your bathroom? Tips are also nice too!
A: I have to say, I don’t think shower sex is really all that great–dorm shower sex, even less so. But to each her own–here are the ten things you should know before sudsing up and getting down in the dorm showers:
1. It may be against the rules. Some schools keep women’s and men’s bathrooms separate, in which case, I assume sex in the showers wouldn’t be encouraged either. But hey, might be a great time to work out those bi-curious tendencies. Check your school’s rules–as far as I can tell, dorm shower sex isn’t illegal as a rule, so it’ll depend on your school’s policies–and then figure out how to break them!
2. Remember protection–condoms and flip-flops. You don’t want to catch an STD or a nasty fungus, so keep extremities covered.
3. Remove your eye makeup. I’m not kidding. If you take nothing else away from this, please remember to wipe off you eyeliner before you hook up in the shower. Yes, even the waterproof kind. Not. Pretty.
4. Do it on off-peak hours. Figure out when your dorm shower sees the least traffic and sneak in then. You’re less likely to get caught, and you’re less likely to gross everyone else out with your cries of passion.
5. Don’t do it on the weekend. This might sound counter-intuitive, but unless you want company in the form of other fun-loving couples or that guy on your floor who gets drunk and pukes all over the bathroom every single Saturday, pick a quiet Monday night over a Saturday.
6. Keep it simple. Now is not the time to try out that sex position you read about in Cosmo. Stick to whatever works based on how much space you have and water flow.
7. Lube up. Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to…lube up with? Yep–the water will actually dry you out, so this is the time to break out the K-Y.
8. For the love of god, keep the soap out of it. If you’re going to be having sex in the shower, don’t lather up your naughty bits first unless you like a little pain–there are some crevices where your fancy body wash doesn’t need to go.
9. Keep towels within arm’s reach. If someone does walk in on you, make sure you have two towels at grabbable distance to cover up with. Your RA does not want to see your bare ass. Unless you’re sexing your RA.
10. Do it for the thrill of it. Don’t expect multiple orgasms when trying out shower sex–you should consider the experiment a success if you make it out of there without foot fungus, a concussion, or having 30 of your floormates see your girls. Shower sex is a novelty, so enjoy it for what it is and don’t put pressure on yourself to have the best sex of your life in there.
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